Steven Wright
Steven Wright
Steven Alexander Wrightis an American comedian, actor, writer, and an Oscar-winning film producer. He is known for his distinctly lethargic voice and slow, deadpan delivery of ironic, philosophical, and sometimes nonsensical jokes, paraprosdokians, non sequiturs, anti-humor, and one-liners with contrived situations...
NationalityAmerican
ProfessionComedian
Date of Birth6 December 1955
CountryUnited States of America
vegetables vegan-food vegetarian
If vegetarians eat vegetables, what do humanitarians eat
funny procrastination humor
Plan to be spontaneous tomorrow.
funny moving humor
I replaced the headlights in my car with strobe lights, so it looks like I'm the only one moving.
funny friends humor
I had a friend who was a clown. When he died, all his friends went to the funeral in one car.
american-comedian
Right now I'm having amnesia and deja vu at the same time.
american-comedian
It doesn't make a difference what temperature a room is, it's always room temperature.
bullpen figure finish five four games next past rest threw week
The past week our bullpen threw a lot, especially with the doubleheaders in the (Rainbow) tournament, and we have five games this weekend, so I figure if I can finish the game off, I can give 'em a little rest so they can go out and get the next four games.
american-comedian ran wearing
I was walking down the street wearing glasses when the prescription ran out.
american-comedian
If you shoot at mimes, should you use a silencer?
american-comedian
The other day I... uh, no, that wasn't me.
american-comedian
I went to a general store. They wouldn't let me buy anything specifically.
harder run supposed system
We have run the hydro system harder than it was supposed to be run this year.