Steven Wright
Steven Wright
Steven Alexander Wrightis an American comedian, actor, writer, and an Oscar-winning film producer. He is known for his distinctly lethargic voice and slow, deadpan delivery of ironic, philosophical, and sometimes nonsensical jokes, paraprosdokians, non sequiturs, anti-humor, and one-liners with contrived situations...
NationalityAmerican
ProfessionComedian
Date of Birth6 December 1955
CountryUnited States of America
funny humor would-be
Ever wonder what the speed of lightning would be if it didn't zigzag?
funny humor two
Clones are people two.
funny running horse
When I was five years old I was on a merry go round. There was a gunshot nearby. The horses stampeded. There I was running down the street on a purple wooden horse.
funny wall humor
I put hardwood floors on top of wall-to-wall carpet.
funny humor snakes
Tinsel is really snakes' mirrors.
funny humor hands
My grandfather gave me a watch. It doesn't have any hands or numbers. He says it's very accurate. I asked him what time it was. You can guess what he told me.
funny humor doe
If you take an Oriental person and spin him around several times, does he become disoriented?
funny humor tired
I'm kinda tired. I was up all night trying to round off infinity. Then I got bored and went out and painted passing lines on curved roads.
funny team humor
I was watching the Superbowl with my 92 year old grandfather. The team scored a touchdown. They showed the instant replay. He thought they scored another one. I was gonna tell him, but I figured the game HE was watching was better.
funny humor beard
Why doesn't Tarzan have a beard? Why doesn't glue stick to the inside of the bottle?
funny humor 50th-birthday
For my sister's 50th birthday, I sent her a singing mammogram.
funny humor pigs
Why do we wait until a pig is dead to "cure" it?
funny humor speed
The speed of time is one second per second.
funny humor swimming
If you melt dry ice in a pool and go swimming, will you get wet?