Steven Wright
Steven Wright
Steven Alexander Wrightis an American comedian, actor, writer, and an Oscar-winning film producer. He is known for his distinctly lethargic voice and slow, deadpan delivery of ironic, philosophical, and sometimes nonsensical jokes, paraprosdokians, non sequiturs, anti-humor, and one-liners with contrived situations...
NationalityAmerican
ProfessionComedian
Date of Birth6 December 1955
CountryUnited States of America
beach sea world
I have a large sea shell collection which I keep scattered on beaches all over the world. Maybe you've seen it.
science car looks
I have a quantum car. Every time I look at the speedometer I get lost.
funny humor severity
The severity of the itch is proportional to the reach.
kids house scare
My house is made out of balsa wood, so when I want to scare the neighborhood kids I lift it over my head and tell them to get out of my yard or I'll throw it at them.
years eight birth
My friend Winnie is a procrastinator. He didn't get his birth mark til he was eight years old.
laughing attention classroom
I was always making my friends laugh, but I never wanted the attention of the whole classroom.
television film ends
I was born. When I was 23 I started telling jokes. Then I started going on television and doing films. That's still what I am doing. The end.
placebo
I'm addicted to placebos.
zero math black
Black holes result from God dividing the universe by zero.
justice house window
I was born by Caesarian section . . . but not so you'd notice. It's just that when I leave a house, I go out through the window.
honor mind parks
Your honor, why would anyone in their right mind park in the passing lane?
snakes
Even snakes are afraid of snakes.
maps size united-states
I have a map of the united states .... it's original size ... it says one mile equals one mile.
needs use mime
If you shoot a Mime, do you need to use a silencer?