Steven Wright
Steven Wright
Steven Alexander Wrightis an American comedian, actor, writer, and an Oscar-winning film producer. He is known for his distinctly lethargic voice and slow, deadpan delivery of ironic, philosophical, and sometimes nonsensical jokes, paraprosdokians, non sequiturs, anti-humor, and one-liners with contrived situations...
NationalityAmerican
ProfessionComedian
Date of Birth6 December 1955
CountryUnited States of America
funny humor invisible-ink
How do you tell when you’re out of invisible ink?
funny humor men
If man evolved from monkeys and apes, why do we still have monkeys and apes?
funny birthday humor
For my birthday I got a humidifier and a de-humidifier... I put them in the same room and let them fight it out.
funny ocean humor
How much deeper would the ocean be if sponges didn’t live there?
depression nice scare
You know what scares me? When you have to be nice to some paranoid schizophrenic, just because she lives in your head.
funny-life redneck way
When everything's coming your way, you're in the wrong lane.
phones ears mouths
Imagine how weird phones would look if your mouth was nowhere near your ears.
funny humor sometimes
Sometimes I... No, I don't.
funny life reading
I was reading the dictionary. I thought it was a poem about everything.
funny humor batteries
Why do you press harder on a remote-control when you know the battery's dead?
dog fun insane
I bought a dog the other day. . . . I named him Stay. It's fun to call him. . . . "Come here, Stay! Come here, Stay!" He went insane. Now he just ignores me and keeps typing.
funny humor eyeglasses
I had some eyeglasses. I was walking down the street when suddenly the prescription ran out.
money gun giving
The lady across the hall tried to rob a department store . . . with a pricing gun. She said, "Give me all of the money in the vault, or I'm marking down everything in the store."
funny husband humor
I was thinking that women should put pictures of missing husbands on beer cans.