Steven Wright
Steven Wright
Steven Alexander Wrightis an American comedian, actor, writer, and an Oscar-winning film producer. He is known for his distinctly lethargic voice and slow, deadpan delivery of ironic, philosophical, and sometimes nonsensical jokes, paraprosdokians, non sequiturs, anti-humor, and one-liners with contrived situations...
NationalityAmerican
ProfessionComedian
Date of Birth6 December 1955
CountryUnited States of America
funny humor home
I moved into an all-electric house. I forgot and left the porch light on all day. When I got home the front door wouldn't open.
funny humor cheese
I eat swiss cheese. But I only nibble on it. I make the holes bigger.
funny hurt humor
When I was in boy scouts, I slipped on the ice and hurt my ankle. A little old lady had to help me across the street.
funny humor sky
The sky already fell. Now what?
funny humor people
How many people does it take to change a searchlight bulb?
funny humor mirrors
I brought a mirror to Lovers' Lane. I told everybody I'm Narcissus.
funny morning humor
The sun never sets on the British Empire. But it rises every morning. The sky must get awfully crowded.
funny humor house
My friend Sam has one leg. I went to his house. I couldn't go up the stairs.
funny humor cheese
I eat Swiss cheese from the inside out.
funny humor winning
If all those psychics know the winning lottery numbers, why are they all still working?
naked band
I'm not naked, I'm in the band.
funny kids humor
When I was a kid I had a friend who worked in a radio station. Whenever we walked under a bridge, you couldn't hear what he said.
phones long calendars
I saw a close friend of mine the other day. . . . He said, "Stephen, why haven't you called me?" I said, "I can't call everyone I want. My new phone has no five on it." He said, "How long have you had it?" I said, "I don't know . . . my calendar has no sevens on it."
funny humor gone
I parked in the tow-away zone, and when I got back, the entire neighborhood was gone.