Steven Wright
Steven Wright
Steven Alexander Wrightis an American comedian, actor, writer, and an Oscar-winning film producer. He is known for his distinctly lethargic voice and slow, deadpan delivery of ironic, philosophical, and sometimes nonsensical jokes, paraprosdokians, non sequiturs, anti-humor, and one-liners with contrived situations...
NationalityAmerican
ProfessionComedian
Date of Birth6 December 1955
CountryUnited States of America
tired
Is 'tired old cliché' one?
language sometimes subconscious
Sometimes I talk to myself in languages I'm unfamiliar with... just to screw with my subconscious.
laughing sense-of-humor cattle
Laughing stock: cattle with a sense of humor.
baby thinking needs
I need one of those baby monitors from my subconscious to my consciousness so I can know what the hell I'm really thinking about.
doctors
The doctor says he has to amputate all of me.
wings people forget
So I got off the plane and I forget to take off my seat-belt and I’m dragging the plane through the terminal... The wings are knocking people over...
space showing-up three
I heard that in relativity theory, space and time are the same thing. Einstein discovered this when he kept showing up three miles late for his meetings.
funny humor light
If your car could travel at the speed of light, would your headlights work?
reflection people levels
I wear a hat on stage so that people won't be blinded by the reflection from my head. Also, if I don't wear a hat, there's no way that the hat can be at that level by itself on the stage.
girlfriend wall thinking
I'm standing behind a wall of jokes. You don't know about my personal life, my girlfriends, or what I do when I'm not on the road. There's this guy, this comedian, and this is how he thinks, but people really don't know anything about me.
funny humor psychics
Why do psychics have to ask you for your name?
names mets supermarkets
I was in the supermarket the other day, and I met a lady in the aisle where they keep the generic brands. Her name was 'woman.
australia people world
Do the people in Australia call the rest of the world 'Up Over'?
funny humor matter
It doesn't matter what temperature the room is, it's always room temperature.