Steven Wright
Steven Wright
Steven Alexander Wrightis an American comedian, actor, writer, and an Oscar-winning film producer. He is known for his distinctly lethargic voice and slow, deadpan delivery of ironic, philosophical, and sometimes nonsensical jokes, paraprosdokians, non sequiturs, anti-humor, and one-liners with contrived situations...
NationalityAmerican
ProfessionComedian
Date of Birth6 December 1955
CountryUnited States of America
reflection mirrors hair
If Dracula can't see his reflection in a mirror, how come his hair is always so neatly combed?
laughing people four
Only one in four jokes ever works, and I still can't predict what people will laugh at.
elephants pet comedy
My roommate got a pet elephant. Then it got lost. It's in the apartment somewhere.
funny time fall
You know when you're sitting on a chair and you lean back so you're just on two legs and you lean too far so you almost fall over but at the last second you catch yourself? I feel like that all the time...
secret young staying-young
My secret to staying young... Having no sense of time.
helping traffic expanding
They say the universe is expanding. That should help with the traffic.
funny humor would-be
Ever wonder what the speed of lightning would be if it didn't zigzag?
funny humor two
Clones are people two.
funny running horse
When I was five years old I was on a merry go round. There was a gunshot nearby. The horses stampeded. There I was running down the street on a purple wooden horse.
funny wall humor
I put hardwood floors on top of wall-to-wall carpet.
funny humor snakes
Tinsel is really snakes' mirrors.
funny humor hands
My grandfather gave me a watch. It doesn't have any hands or numbers. He says it's very accurate. I asked him what time it was. You can guess what he told me.
funny humor doe
If you take an Oriental person and spin him around several times, does he become disoriented?
funny humor tired
I'm kinda tired. I was up all night trying to round off infinity. Then I got bored and went out and painted passing lines on curved roads.