Steven Wright
Steven Wright
Steven Alexander Wrightis an American comedian, actor, writer, and an Oscar-winning film producer. He is known for his distinctly lethargic voice and slow, deadpan delivery of ironic, philosophical, and sometimes nonsensical jokes, paraprosdokians, non sequiturs, anti-humor, and one-liners with contrived situations...
NationalityAmerican
ProfessionComedian
Date of Birth6 December 1955
CountryUnited States of America
life witty humorous
I have an existential map. It has 'You are here' written all over it.
dream night would-be
I always thought Johnny Carson was just brilliant, and I used to watch him and all the comics that would be on the show every night - and I'd dream about it being me.
fun interesting alive
There's something about being in front of a live audience that's fun. It's a really interesting, very electric, very alive, and intense experience, and you can't get it anywhere else. And I've been doing it since I was 23, so it's part of my being - it's part of my fabric as a person.
air guy triangles
There's a pizza place near where I live that sells only slices. In the back, you can see a guy tossing a triangle in the air.
moving taken focus
I got my driver's license photo taken out of focus on purpose. Now when I get pulled over, the cop looks at it [moving it nearer and farther, trying to see it clearly], and says, "Here, you can go"
moving tired idiot
Day 1 -- Still tired from the move. Day 2 -- Everybody talks to me like I'm an idiot.
jobs book reading
I was in a job interview and I opened a book and started reading. Then I said to the guy 'Let me ask you a question. If you are in a spaceship that is traveling at the speed of light, and you turn on the headlights, does anything happen?' He said 'I don't know'. I said 'I don't want your job'.
inspirational funny life
Why don't they make the whole plane out of that black box stuff.
thinking laughing people
I feel lucky that I can have people laugh solidly for a whole hour by just saying what I think and getting paid for it.
moving next-week mars
I'm moving to Mars next week, so if you have any boxes...
home phones machines
I got an answering machine for my phone. . . . Now, when I'm not home and somebody calls me up . . . they hear a recording of a busy signal.
fall brain mind
I used to have an open mind but my brains kept falling out.
children two keys
I collect rare photographs... I have two... One of Houdini locking his keys in his car... the other is a rare picture of Norman Rockwell beating up a child.
song minutes notes
To the audience, it's like I'm changing the subject every five seconds, but to me, my show's almost like a 90-minute song that I know exactly. I wrote every note, and I know exactly where everything is.