Steven Wright
Steven Wright
Steven Alexander Wrightis an American comedian, actor, writer, and an Oscar-winning film producer. He is known for his distinctly lethargic voice and slow, deadpan delivery of ironic, philosophical, and sometimes nonsensical jokes, paraprosdokians, non sequiturs, anti-humor, and one-liners with contrived situations...
NationalityAmerican
ProfessionComedian
Date of Birth6 December 1955
CountryUnited States of America
beating best game hang known
I've known Ian for a while. It's not about beating the best pitcher. He's still my buddy. I'll probably hang out with him tonight. It's just another game to me.
ahead
I was just getting too ahead of myself. I was rushing.
happens
It happens so fast, and I've been doing it so long that it's unconscious,
statue
The statue is permanently out of place in my house,
american-comedian paint small
It's a small world but I wouldn't want to paint it.
spot
I spilled Spot remover on my dog. Now he's gone.
coach decision ended felt good
I felt I could've got him out. Coach made a good decision because we ended up getting him out anyway.
although leave whenever
I was cesarean born. You can't really tell, although whenever I leave a house, I go out through a window.
budgets five good matter problem
I haven't done a film in about five years and I want to do more. It's not a matter of expense, because budgets are low, it's the problem of not having a really good idea.
night gambling people
Last night I stayed up late playing poker with Tarot cards. I got a full house and four people died.
hours faster officers
Officer, I know I was going faster than 55MPH, but I wasn't going to be on the road an hour.
mistake listening
No one is listening until you make a mistake.
two evil picks
If you must choose between two evils, pick the one you've never tried before.
humorous school college
I've been thinking of humorous things since I was... I can't remember when. All the way through elementary school, all the way through junior high, all the way through high school, through college and after college, I was thinking of the same kinds of things that I say in front of an audience now.