Steven Wright
Steven Wright
Steven Alexander Wrightis an American comedian, actor, writer, and an Oscar-winning film producer. He is known for his distinctly lethargic voice and slow, deadpan delivery of ironic, philosophical, and sometimes nonsensical jokes, paraprosdokians, non sequiturs, anti-humor, and one-liners with contrived situations...
NationalityAmerican
ProfessionComedian
Date of Birth6 December 1955
CountryUnited States of America
phones ears mouths
Imagine how weird phones would look if your mouth was nowhere near your ears.
funny humor thinking
I think God's going to come down and pull civilization over for speeding.
harder run supposed system
We have run the hydro system harder than it was supposed to be run this year.
happens
It happens so fast, and I've been doing it so long that it's unconscious,
grateful careers imagination
I feel very lucky to make a living from my imagination; I'm very grateful for that. I like that what I do is create. I'm feeling very lucky to have had the career I had. It's gone much longer and bigger than I ever thought it would be.
time watches spares
I Xeroxed my watch. Now I have time to spare.
statistics spots made
43.7 per cent of all statistics are made up on the spot.
lasts week bicycle
Last week I forgot how to ride a bicycle.
narrators used mime
I used to be a narrator for bad mimes.
snakes vests arms
Snakes have no arms. That's why they don't wear vests.
zebras reading turns
I finally got around to reading the dictionary. Turns out the Zebra did it.
placebo
I'm addicted to placebos.
snakes owning-a-pet adorable
When I was 16... I worked in a pet store. And they fired me because... they had three snakes in there, and one day I braided them.
nephew doe attention
My nephew has HDADHD. High Definition Attention Deficit Disorder. He can barely pay attention, but when he does it's unbelievably clear.