W. C. Fields
W. C. Fields
William Claude Dukenfield, better known as W. C. Fields, was an American comedian, actor, juggler and writer. Fields' comic persona was a misanthropic and hard-drinking egotist, who remained a sympathetic character despite his snarling contempt for dogs and children...
NationalityAmerican
ProfessionMovie Actor
Date of Birth29 January 1880
CityDarby, PA
CountryUnited States of America
children food firsts
There's no such thing as a tough child - if you parboil them first for seven hours, they always come out tender.
mom mother lawyer
The only thing a lawyer won't question is the legitimacy of his mother.
funny witty children
I like children - fried.
simple long swallowing
So long as the presence of death lurks with anyone who goes through the simple act of swallowing, I will make mine whiskey.
laughing people purpose
Comedy is a serious business. A serious business with only one purpose--to make people laugh.
father science experts
I am an expert of electricity. My father occupied the chair of applied electricity at the state prison.
christmas two merry
A merry Christmas to all my friends except two.
hands eels water
The funniest thing about comedy is that you never know why people laugh. I know what makes them laugh but trying to get your hands on the why of it is like trying to pick an eel out of a tub of water.
funny drinking book
A woman drove me to drink and I didn't even have the decency to thank her.
christmas drinking house
Christmas at my house is always at least six or seven times more pleasant than anywhere else. We start drinking early. And while everyone else is seeing only one Santa Claus, we'll be seeing six or seven.
travel drinking book
Reminds me of my safari in Africa. Somebody forgot the corkscrew and for several days we had to live on nothing but food and water.
nature night yards
Marry an outdoors woman. Then if you throw her out into the yard on a cold night, she can still survive.
night philadelphia towns
Philadelphia, wonderful town, spent a week there one night
may milk cry
Never cry over spilt milk, because it may have been poisoned.