Famous Quotes & Sayings

Groucho Marx

Whoever named it necking was a poor judge of anatomy.

Groucho Marx

I've been looking for a girl like you - not you, but a girl like you.

Groucho Marx

The secret of life is honesty and fair dealing. If you can fake that, you've got it made.

Groucho Marx

Man does not control his own fate. The women in his life do that for him.

Groucho Marx

I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury.

Groucho Marx

[Mrs. Teasdale]: He's had a change of heart. [Groucho]: A lot of good that'll do him. He's still got the same face.

Groucho Marx

Who are you going to believe, me or your own eyes?

Groucho Marx

I refuse to join any club that would have me as a member.

Groucho Marx

A child of five would understand this. Send someone to fetch a child of five.

Groucho Marx

Any place I hang my head is home.

Groucho Marx

No one is completely unhappy at the failure of his best friend.

Groucho Marx

Hail, hail Freedonia, land of the free!

Groucho Marx

I love my cigar too, but I take it out of my mouth once in a while.

Groucho Marx

Whatever it is, I'm against it.

Groucho Marx

You know I could rent you out as a decoy for duck hunters?

Groucho Marx

Do they allow tipping on the boat? - Yes, sir. Have you got two fives? - Oh, yes, sir. Then you won't need the ten cents I was going to give you.

Groucho Marx

Come on in girls, and leave all hope behind.

Groucho Marx

Years ago, I tried to top everybody, but I don't anymore. I realized it was killing conversation. When you're always trying for a topper you aren't really listening. It ruins communication

Groucho Marx

The only real laughter comes from despair.

Groucho Marx

Before I speak, I have something important to say.

Groucho Marx

There's one way to find out if a man is honest - ask him. If he says, 'Yes,' you know he is a crook.

Groucho Marx

A man's only as old as the woman he feels.

Groucho Marx

This isn't a particularly novel observation, but the world is full of people who think they can manipulate the lives of others merely by getting a law passed.

Groucho Marx

If women dressed for men, the stores wouldn't sell much - just an occasional sun visor.

Groucho Marx

Why, I'd horse-whip you if I had a horse.

Groucho Marx

I have had a perfectly wonderful evening, but this wasn't it.

Groucho Marx

I have nothing but respect for you -- and not much of that.

Groucho Marx

He may look like an idiot and talk like an idiot but don't let that fool you. He really is an idiot.

Groucho Marx

I cannot say that I don't disagree with you.

Graham Elliot

I don't get to watch a lot of TV. I just do all my news and reading and "Meet the Press," all that fun, exciting stuff.

Graham Elliot

I really see food as subjective. It's a creative outlet. It's something that you do for fun. It's a gray area. It's not black and white or right and wrong.

Graham Elliot

I think with the kids I get to be a little more fun and goofy, which is kinda how I am all the time.

Graham Greene

Fun... human nature... does no one any harm... Regular as clockwork the old excuses came back into the alert, sad and dissatisfied brain--nothing ever matched the deep excitement of the regular desire. Men always failed you when it came to the act. She might just as well have been to the pictures.