Famous Quotes & Sayings

Denis Leary

I take music pretty seriously. You see that scar on my wrist? You see that? You know where that's from? I heard the Bee Gees were getting back together again. I couldn't take it, OK!

Denis Leary

I tried eating vegetarian. I felt like a wimp going into a restaurant. "What do you want to eat sir? Broccoli?" Broccoli's a side dish, folks. Always was, always will be, OK! When they ask me what I want, I say: What do you think I want? This is America. I want a bowl of raw red meat right now.

Denis Leary

I'm sick and tired of our generation being called the TV generation. What do you expect? We watched Lee Harvey Oswald get his brains blown out all over. How could we change the channel after that?

Denis Leary

We live in a country where John Lennon takes eight bullets, Yoko Ono is walking right beside him and not one hits her. Explain that to me!

Denis Leary

My biggest regret in life is that I didn't hit John Denver in the mouth while I has the chance.

Denis Leary

I will not bond. I will not share. I refuse to nurture.

Denis Leary

I do have to say that I think that President Obama is the greatest President in the history of all of our Presidents, and that he can do no wrong in my book. So how's that for prejudice on the Democratic side?

Denis Leary

I have good kids, I love my kids. I try to bring them up the right way, not spanking them. I find that I don't have to spank them. I find that waving the gun around pretty much gets the same job done!

Denis Leary

It became sort of a snowball effect, with guys trying to deal in their own way with 9/11, whether it was drinking or whatever,

Denis Leary

Personally, I think Jim Henson said it best when he said "Anybody got an aspirin? I think I've got a cold."

Denis Leary

Not eating meat is a decision, eating meat is an instinct.

Denis Leary

I want you to take away the hope because that's the thing that's killing me.

Denis Leary

Heavy Metal fans are buying Heavy Metal records, taking the records home, listening to the records and then blowing their heads off with shotguns? Where's the problem? That's an unemployment solution right there, folks! It's called natural selection.

We're in a funny space. Too much good news is not good news because the market worries about the Fed.

Louis C. K.

For years, Blockbuster Video has edited movies. Like The Bad Lieutenant, when he's masturbating while the girls in the car are doing the thing. I rented it from Blockbuster and sped to that scene, and it was gone. I called up Blockbuster, and I'm like, "I got an erection, and the scene's not there."

Mark Cuban

When I started writing this blog more than years ago, it was in response to traditional media's habit of twisting interviews to fit the headlines they wanted to create.

Bill Nye

Humor is everywhere in that there's irony in just about anything a human does.

Benjamin Spock

There are only two things a child will share willingly; communicable diseases and its mother's age.

Carol Leifer

It was a mixed marriage. I'm human, and he was a Klingon.

Agnes Repplier

Humor distorts nothing, and only false gods are laughed off their earthly pedestals.

Charles de Gaulle

I wouldn't mind dying for France, but not for Air France.

Charles de Gaulle

Hearing Mass is the ceremony I most favor during my travels. Church is the only place where someone speaks to me and I do not have to answer back.

Charles Baudelaire

A sweetheart is a bottle of wine, a wife is a wine bottle.

Charles Baudelaire

Where are the dogs going? you people who pay so little attention ask. They are going about their business. And they are very punctilious, without wallets, notes, and without briefcases.

Charles M. Schulz

Nothing echoes like an empty mailbox.

Bob Phillips

He took his misfortune like a man - he blamed it on his wife.

Bob Phillips

Love is a state of mind which has nothing to do with the mind.

Bill Maher

A new cologne is coming out. It's for cowboys, and it's made from cow's manure. That way the women will be on you like flies!

Bill Bailey

People say 'Bill, are you an optimist?' And I say, 'I hope so.'

Bill Bailey

I am a confectionery-based existentialist.

Bill Bailey

Thank God for Darwin, eh?

Bill Bailey

A horse walks into a bar, and the barman says "Why the long face?". The horse replies: "I'm deeply troubled by the anthropomorphic aspects of my existence and the extent to which I am now protected by law."

Bob Lemon

I never took the game home with me. I always left it in some bar.