Famous Quotes & Sayings

Mark Cuban

When I started writing this blog more than years ago, it was in response to traditional media's habit of twisting interviews to fit the headlines they wanted to create.

Bill Nye

Humor is everywhere in that there's irony in just about anything a human does.

Benjamin Spock

There are only two things a child will share willingly; communicable diseases and its mother's age.

Carol Leifer

It was a mixed marriage. I'm human, and he was a Klingon.

Agnes Repplier

Humor distorts nothing, and only false gods are laughed off their earthly pedestals.

Charles de Gaulle

I wouldn't mind dying for France, but not for Air France.

Charles de Gaulle

Hearing Mass is the ceremony I most favor during my travels. Church is the only place where someone speaks to me and I do not have to answer back.

Charles de Gaulle

You may be sure that the Americans will commit all the stupidities they can think of, plus some that are beyond imagination.

Charles de Gaulle

He who laughs last didn't get the joke.

Charles Baudelaire

A sweetheart is a bottle of wine, a wife is a wine bottle.

Charles Baudelaire

Where are the dogs going? you people who pay so little attention ask. They are going about their business. And they are very punctilious, without wallets, notes, and without briefcases.

Charles M. Schulz

Nothing echoes like an empty mailbox.

Bob Phillips

He took his misfortune like a man - he blamed it on his wife.

Bob Phillips

Love is a state of mind which has nothing to do with the mind.

Bill Maher

A new cologne is coming out. It's for cowboys, and it's made from cow's manure. That way the women will be on you like flies!

Bill Bailey

People say 'Bill, are you an optimist?' And I say, 'I hope so.'

Bill Bailey

I am a confectionery-based existentialist.

Bill Bailey

Thank God for Darwin, eh?

Bill Bailey

A horse walks into a bar, and the barman says "Why the long face?". The horse replies: "I'm deeply troubled by the anthropomorphic aspects of my existence and the extent to which I am now protected by law."

Bob Lemon

I never took the game home with me. I always left it in some bar.

Bill Wyman

It's all right leaping about the stage when you're 20 but when you get to 25 it gets a bit embarrassing

Bill Veeck

Suffering is overrated. It doesn't teach you anything.

P. J. O'Rourke

It's better to spend money like there's no tomorrow than to spend tonight like there's no money.

Friends are what God gives you to make up for your family.

C. P. Scott

Television: The word is half Greek, half Latin. No good can come of it.

Cathy Guisewite

Defy your own group. Rebel against yourself.

Carl Hiaasen

I've always enjoyed making people laugh. But in order for me to be funny, I have to get ticked off about something.

Calvin Trillin

The margin of error in astrology is plus or minus one hundred percent.

We're still pretty funny but we realized that when things are too funny out front, people don't get through to the serious core, ... We wanted to show the other side.

Dick Cavett

There's so much comedy on television. Does that cause comedy in the streets?

Dennis Miller

Never ever discount the idea of marriage. Sure, someone might tell you that marriage is just a piece of paper. Well, so is money, and what's more life-affirming than cold, hard cash?

Earl Weaver

I gave (pitcher) Mike Cuellar more chances than I gave my first wife.

Edgar Guest

You'll be richer in the end than a prince, if you're a friend.