Famous Quotes & Sayings

John Abraham

He started talking about the incident, the DWI, like it was a joke, ... But it's not funny to me.

Mekhi Phifer

I don't really like hospitals that much. People are sick; sometimes it can be depressing. There's people going through a lot of pain in there. It has that funny smell.

Justin Upton

I didn't leave much room ... It's kind of funny how it's working out.

Ingmar Bergman

I hope I never get so old I get religious.

Jack Lemmon

I feel sorry for people who don't drink. When they wake up in the morning, that's as good as they're going to feel all day.

Jack Dempsey

Tell him he can have my title, but I want it back in the morning.

Jack Dempsey

All the time he's boxing, he's thinking. All the time he was thinking, I was hitting him.

J. D. Salinger

Mothers are all slightly insane.

Ingvar Kamprad

I'm stingy and I'm proud of the reputation.

Imelda Marcos

I did not have three thousand pairs of shoes, I had one thousand and sixty.

Jack McMahon

Here's a six-foot-ten guy in sneakers and the lady's asking me, 'Profession?'

Jack Benny

As you may or may not know, in keeping with the high-class tone of Beverly Hills, our police force is probably the most snobbish group of gendarmes in the world. It is said that the Beverly Hills Police Department is so fancy that it has an unlisted number.

Jack Benny

If you don't mind, it doesn't matter.

Jack Benny

I don't deserve this award, but I have arthritis and I don't deserve that either.

Jack Black

You must never underestimate the power of the eyebrow.

Most people are used to the T.V. comedy method of one joke every 18 seconds. And that's why it's not funny... There's no time for anything to develop.

Michael Keaton

My first manager, he had left Germany when he was five, but he would joke about the Nazis. And I'd laugh, but I'd look at him, and he was the first one who told me, 'You know, funny is a powerful thing; it's a wonderful weapon.'

Matt Smith

I think there's an interesting contradiction of having a young face and an old soul. There's something funny about it, and it also allows you to reinvent being old.

Melissa McCarthy

Jason Statham is funny, I never knew that.

Jason Alexander

Jerry Seinfeld has an interesting theory. He goes, '20 pounds up or down, and you lose your funny.'

Mitch Hedberg

I think fooseball is a combination of soccer and shishkabobs.

I saw it. It was very funny. I think he's trying to take the high moral ground.

Sarah Silverman

I say 'I'm sorry.' It usually disarms them.

Drew Bledsoe

I said, 'Yes, sir,' 'No, sir' and did what I was supposed to do. He's a funny guy, but he's only funny if he's not talking to you because he's pretty hard on guys. When I was young, I got tired of all the noise from Bill. As you get older, you realize some of the things he taught me when I was young that have gone on to help me in my career.

Larry David

People have often wondered how they'd feel if they were adopted. I think it's funny.

Robbie Coltrane

My son's the same, he's terribly funny. It's a wonderful power to have. It's also fantastically disarming. Women find it unbelievably disarming. You can say the most astonishing things if you're funny. You can tell a woman that she's irresistibly attractive, but do it in such a funny way.

Rodney Dangerfield

My psychiatrist told me I'm going crazy. I told him .... If you don't mind I'd like a second opinion. He said .... Alright.... you're ugly too!

Cy Twombly

My parents were from New England. It's very funny, but when I grew up, you always had to say, 'Yes, ma'am' and 'Yes, sir.'

Katharine McPhee

I'm so unprofessional on set it's not even funny.

Susan Stroman

Mel has written 10 new songs, and they're very funny. It's a year and a half away from opening on Broadway.

Bill Shankly

A football team is like a piano. You need eight men to carry it and three who can play the damn thing.