Famous Quotes & Sayings

Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

If a man writes a book, let him set down only what he knows. I have guesses enough of my own.

Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

We are never deceived; we deceive ourselves.

Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

Mathematicians are like Frenchmen: whatever you say to them they translate into their own language and forthwith it is something entirely different.

Joe Walsh

The song tells me what to play.

Joe Louis

Yeah, I'm scared. I'm scared I might kill Schmeling.

Joaquin Phoenix

I have this horrible sense of humor where I think discomfort is funny - partly because I experience discomfort a lot, and it's a way of laughing at it and getting a release.

Jo Brand

The thing I thought about doing it was it's Comic Relief and you've got to be funny. So although I did try to sing properly it obviously has hilarious results when you can't sing.

Jo Brand

Who do I like? I am a big fan of French and Saunders - not that that they are particularly stand-up I have to say, but I think they have been great for women and they are of themselves just incredibly funny whether they are male or female.

George Eliot

He was like a cock who thought the sun had risen to hear him crow.

James Thurber

Progress was all right. Only it went on too long.

James Thurber

Well, if I called the wrong number, why did you answer the phone?

James Thurber

There is no safety in numbers, or in anything else.

James Thurber

Women are wiser than men because they know less and understand more.

James Stewart

Learn from the masters, learn from your contemporaries. Always try to update yourself.

James Patterson

Can I come in? No! I'm in a towel! I'm blind!

Ellsworth Huntington

The buffalo is a surprisingly stupid animal.

Elayne Boosler

Ever notice that Soup for One is eight aisles away from Party Mix?

Elayne Boosler

When the sun comes up, I have morals again.

Elayne Boosler

You never see a man walking down the street with a woman who has a little potbelly and a bald spot.

Elayne Boosler

I'm just a person trapped inside a woman's body.

Elayne Boosler

I have six locks on my door all in a row. When I go out, I lock every other one. I figure no matter how long somebody stands there picking the locks, they are always locking three.

Elayne Boosler

We have women in the military, but they don't put us in the front lines. They don't know if we can fight, if we can kill. I think we can. All the general has to do is walk over to the women and say, 'You see the enemy over there? They say you look fat in those uniforms.'

Edward Teller

When you're certain you cannot be fooled, you become easy to fool.

Gilbert K. Chesterton

It isn't that they can't see the solution. It is that they can't see the problem.

Gilbert K. Chesterton

I am not absentminded. It is the presence of mind that makes me unaware of everything else.

Gilbert K. Chesterton

To be clever enough to get all that money, one must be stupid enough to want it.

Holly Black

Ah coffee. The sweet balm by which we shall accomplish today's tasks.

Henri Matisse

Drawing is like making an expressive gesture with the advantage of permanence.

Heath Ledger

I'm just not one of those naturally funny, relaxed actors who enjoy the spotlight and are so good at it.

Henry Ford

The question who ought to be boss is like who ought to be the tenor in the quartet? Obviously, the man who can sing tunor.

Helen Rowland

When a girl marries she exchanges the attentions of many men for the inattention of one.

Helen Rowland

One man's folly is another man's wife.

Helen Rowland

In olden times sacrifices were made at the altar - a practice which is still continued.