Author unknown
Author unknown
believe billion check four paint
Why does someone believe you when you say there are four billion stars, but check when you say the paint is wet?
choose miss people president run
Why do Americans choose from just two people to run for president and 50 for Miss America?
cut gives half life
When life gives you lemons, cut them in half and squirt life in the eye!
parachute
You do not need a parachute to skydive. You only need a parachute to skydive twice.
stupid
There are no stupid questions, just stupid people.
worrying
Worrying works! 90% of the things I worry about never happen.
bald beer equal head street until walk women
Women will never be equal to men until they can walk down the street with a bald head and a beer gut, and still think they are sexy.
hit women
Women may not hit harder, but they hit lower.
deer either wolf
If a wolf can take down a deer from either flank, does that make him bambidextrous?
skydiving
If at first you don't succeed, skydiving is not for you!
enjoy minute suffer
I don't suffer from insanity; I enjoy every minute of it.
enjoys mean people suffer
If 4 out of 5 people SUFFER from diarrhea... does that mean that one enjoys it?
block bucks cash cold five frozen hard
I got cold hard cash for Christmas. Five bucks frozen in a block of ice.
black call flying man pilot
What do you call a black man flying a plane? A pilot you racist.