Author unknown
Author unknown
missed past season tv walked
Yo momma's so fat, she walked past the TV and i missed the first season of Lost.
bald beer equal head street until walk women
Women will never be equal to men until they can walk down the street with a bald head and a beer gut, and still think they are sexy.
fill mother says whenever
Whenever I fill out an application, in the part that says "If an emergency, notify:" I put "DOCTOR". What's my mother going to do?
drive park
Why is the place you drive on is a parkway, and the place you park on is the driveway?
beginning last man says women word
Women get the last word in every argument. Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument.
hilarious men two
Men have only two emotions: hungry and horny. If you see him without an erection, make him a sandwich.A bargain is something you don't need at a price you can't resist.
break-out looks faces
When happiness gets into your system, it is bound to break out on your face. While money can't buy happiness it certainly lets you choose your own form of misery. You always know, at this very moment, exactly what it would be to look, and feel, and be, and act completely Happy.
truth-is bondage seeking
Truth is that which, when fully realized, sets you free from all bondage and all seeking.
truth-is deny
To seek Truth is to deny Truth to being with. To seek Truth is to avoid Truth, constantly.
oneness world psycho
The nature of the world is inherently obvious, if you remain in a state of total psycho-physical oneness with whatever and all that presently arises.
parachute
You do not need a parachute to skydive. You only need a parachute to skydive twice.
life limits
The only limits in your life are those that you set yourself.
gets house pizza society
We live in a society where pizza gets to your house before the police.
passengers peacefully sleep
When I die, I want to go peacefully like my Grandfather did, in his sleep -- not screaming, like the passengers in his car.