Author unknown
Author unknown
missed past season tv walked
Yo momma's so fat, she walked past the TV and i missed the first season of Lost.
aim miss
I still miss my ex-girlfriend, but my aim is improving.
choose miss people president run
Why do Americans choose from just two people to run for president and 50 for Miss America?
friend good heaps life miss ship sinking together
You are such a good friend that if we were on a sinking ship together and there was only one life jacket... I'd miss you heaps and think of you often.
miss misses retard
I miss you like a retard misses the point.
cares couple missing nobody
If you think nobody cares if you're alive, try missing a couple of payments.
turns
I thought I wanted a career, turns out I just wanted paychecks.
fruit knowing knowledge putting tomato wisdom
Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit; Wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad.
hard knowledge power study
Knowledge is power, and power corrupts. So study hard and be evil.
fall
Just remember...if the world didn't suck, we'd all fall off.
change love source
I would love to change the world, but they won't give me the source code.
department fight fire remember tempted uses
When tempted to fight fire with fire, remember that the Fire Department usually uses water.
phrase stepped whoever
Whoever coined the phrase "Quiet as a mouse" has never stepped on one.
good help people smiling
Some people are like Slinkies ... not really good for anything, but you can't help smiling when you see one tumble down the stairs.