Bill Bailey
Bill Bailey
Mark Robert "Bill" Baileyis an English comedian, musician, actor, TV and radio presenter and author. Bailey is well known for his role in Black Books and for his appearances on Never Mind the Buzzcocks, Have I Got News for You, and QI as well as his extensive stand-up work...
ProfessionComedian
Date of Birth13 January 1965
CityBath, England
funny humor evil
There's more evil in the charts than an Al-Qaeda suggestion box.
funny jobs humor
Toughest job I ever had: selling doors, door to door.
worry way sometimes
I tend to go through periods worrying, "Where am I going, I can't see a way out of this," and it becomes quite stressful. But sometimes you have to take a bet on yourself.
couple hands way
The day after tomorrow is the first day of the rest of your life - that way you've always got a couple of days in hand.
funny humor mind
Tonight's show is about doubt. Or maybe it isn't - haven't made my mind up yet.
funny confused philosophical
You remind me of the Siberian hunting spider, which adopts a highly convincing limp in three of its eight legs in order to attract its main prey, the so-called Samaritan squirrel, which takes pity on the spider, and then the spider jumps on it and injects the paralyzing venom, while the squirrel remains bafflingly philosophical about the whole thing. Not to be confused with the Ukrainian hunting spider, which actually has got a limp and is, as such, completely harmless, and a little bit bitter about the whole thing.
knowing contentment knowing-someone
Contentment is knowing you're right. Happiness is knowing someone else is wrong.
funny vegetarianism comedy
It's true. Hitler was a vegetarian. Just goes to show, vegetarianism, not always a good thing. Can in some extreme cases lead to genocide.
check paying
If we're going to be paying this much, we better check to see if our premiums are adequate.
contact insurance kindly realized start wise
He very kindly let me set up so I could start communicating back to the insurance companies. The more I had contact with George, got to know him better, the more I realized this is a very wise man. He's been around a long time.
aware certainly customers flood turn
We certainly make our customers aware of flood insurance, but so many turn it down.
damages insurance looking numbers sustain wondering
We've been looking at the numbers and wondering just how long we can sustain the kind of insured damages we've been getting. If insurance is not affordable, it's really not available.
says walk
Two solipsists walk into a bar, and one says to the other...
count counting doomsday last million scenario
At the last count -- and we're still counting -- there were 3.2 million claims. We're approaching the doomsday scenario we described 5 years ago.