Bill Bailey
Bill Bailey
Mark Robert "Bill" Baileyis an English comedian, musician, actor, TV and radio presenter and author. Bailey is well known for his role in Black Books and for his appearances on Never Mind the Buzzcocks, Have I Got News for You, and QI as well as his extensive stand-up work...
ProfessionComedian
Date of Birth13 January 1965
CityBath, England
funny queens humor
"God save our gracious Queen": Why would we invoke a non-specific deity to bail out these unelected spongers?
funny country humor
But our country's equivalent of gritty reality is more like "Look out Sarge, he's got a shooter!"
funny humor long
Nostalgia: How long's that been around?
funny humor existentialist
I am a confectionery-based existentialist.
disappointment chocolate despair
I'm English, and as such I crave disappointment. That's why I buy Kinder Surprise. Horrible chocolate; nasty little toy: a double-whammy of disillusionment ! Sometimes I eat the toy out of sheer despair.
funny humor snacks
The scotch egg is such a Scottish food. It's as though a great Scottish chef said: I need a tasty snack. Let's take an egg... and wrap it in meat!! Makes it a bit harder.
funny book humor
Aldous Huxley took the drug mescaline and then chronicled his experience in the book The Doors of Perception. Now, I don't actually think that's the first thing he wrote: he probably wrote 'my brain is melting' ten thousand times, but it was the book that the critics latched on to.
funny morning sorry
I feel sorry for James Blunt, he has to wake up every morning and think 'Oh my God, I'm James Blunt, what have I done?'
funny humor magazines
I know that to be a true fact because I read it in Heat magazine
funny mother humor
Yes. Yes, when we live our life like 1950s detective films. I often go to my fridge, "Hullo, we're out of milk. I say mother, where's the milk?"
funny humor thank-god
Thank God for Darwin, eh?
funny horse humor
A horse walks into a bar, and the barman says "Why the long face?". The horse replies: "I'm deeply troubled by the anthropomorphic aspects of my existence and the extent to which I am now protected by law."
three outcomes blokes
Three blokes go into a pub. Something happens. The outcome was hilarious!!
funny humor people
Why do people want to swim with dolphins? The equivalent would be an Indonesian fellow coming over here, going up to a farmer and saying 'Can I get in with the cows? I just fancy scuffling about with them.'