Bill Bailey
Bill Bailey
Mark Robert "Bill" Baileyis an English comedian, musician, actor, TV and radio presenter and author. Bailey is well known for his role in Black Books and for his appearances on Never Mind the Buzzcocks, Have I Got News for You, and QI as well as his extensive stand-up work...
ProfessionComedian
Date of Birth13 January 1965
CityBath, England
ham hamsters
I got ham but I'm not a Hamster
funny humor people
Why do people want to swim with dolphins? The equivalent would be an Indonesian fellow coming over here, going up to a farmer and saying 'Can I get in with the cows? I just fancy scuffling about with them.'
burning dollars bitter
I would never condone the burning of a Dan Brown novel, much though I loathe and detest his work. Well, I say work, you know, words, randomly arranged to form millions of dollars... I'm not bitter at all...
three outcomes blokes
Three blokes go into a pub. Something happens. The outcome was hilarious!!
stupid three littles
Three blokes go into a pub. One of them is a little bit stupid, and the whole scene unfolds with a tedious inevitability.
funny humor snacks
The scotch egg is such a Scottish food. It's as though a great Scottish chef said: I need a tasty snack. Let's take an egg... and wrap it in meat!! Makes it a bit harder.
funny humor ducks
I'm a vegetarian, I'm not strict. I eat fish. And duck, but they're nearly fish aren't they.
funny humor organization
I suppose you could be a member of a terrorist organization in a non-violent way, in the laundry or the catering department.
funny humor woods
I am Zebedee, lord of the woods! Bow down snail, I have dominion!
funny running country
I spent my childhood scrambling round badgers and foxes and playing fantastic country kid games like knocking on people's doors and running away. God that was a good game.
jobs college thinking
At college, I felt frustrated thinking three years was a long time and I just wanted a job but afterwards I was in employment the whole time. I got into a theatre company and started doing stand-up gigs for cash, so I lived hand-to-mouth, but there was always enough to pay the bills.
hard-work mean hard
Work hard, save and live within your means.
funny humor doe
This shed does not contain me.
funny humor cheese
Or, as I call it, a Cheesel, it's a Weasel with a Cheese finish.