Bill Bailey
Bill Bailey
Mark Robert "Bill" Baileyis an English comedian, musician, actor, TV and radio presenter and author. Bailey is well known for his role in Black Books and for his appearances on Never Mind the Buzzcocks, Have I Got News for You, and QI as well as his extensive stand-up work...
ProfessionComedian
Date of Birth13 January 1965
CityBath, England
funny alive comedy
The BBC did a survey of the top 50 things to do before we die. Not while we're still alive, before we die.
funny self rocks
American rock has a sort of self-pitying whine to it.
funny believe humor
Relaxed Empiricism -- I only believe something to be true if someone I know quite well tells me if happened.
funny hurt humor
I tried to like it. For me, it was like being smacked around the head by a piece of IKEA furniture: it hurts, but you've got to admire the workmanship.
funny humor law
Of course, uh, the universe is gradually slowing down and, uh, will eventually collapse inwardly on itself, according to the laws of entropy when all it's thermal and mechanical functions fail, thus rendering all human endeavors ultimately pointless. Just to put the gig in some sort of context.
funny humor light
How many amoebas does it take to screw in a light bulb? One, no two! No four! ...no eight!
funny humor people
People say 'Bill, are you an optimist?' And I say, 'I hope so.'
funny humor talking
Talking of white supremacist violent types, I was in America, recently...
funny humor outlook-on-life
It's the augmented fourth, or diminished fifth, depending on your outlook on life...
funny queens humor
"God save our gracious Queen": Why would we invoke a non-specific deity to bail out these unelected spongers?
funny country humor
But our country's equivalent of gritty reality is more like "Look out Sarge, he's got a shooter!"
funny humor existentialist
I am a confectionery-based existentialist.
funny humor snacks
The scotch egg is such a Scottish food. It's as though a great Scottish chef said: I need a tasty snack. Let's take an egg... and wrap it in meat!! Makes it a bit harder.
funny book humor
Aldous Huxley took the drug mescaline and then chronicled his experience in the book The Doors of Perception. Now, I don't actually think that's the first thing he wrote: he probably wrote 'my brain is melting' ten thousand times, but it was the book that the critics latched on to.