Chris Rock
Chris Rock
Christopher Julius "Chris" Rock III is an American comedian, actor, and producer...
ProfessionComedian
Date of Birth7 February 1965
CityAndrews, SC
zebras princess men
In the world of animation, you can be anything you wanna be. If you’re a fat woman, you can play a skinny princess. If you’re short wimpy guy, you can play a tall gladiator. If you’re a white man, you can play an Arabian prince. And if you’re a black man, you can play a donkey or a zebra.
dad light sure-love
Nobody ever says, 'Hey daddy, thanks for knockin' out this rent.' 'Hey daddy, I sure love this hot water.' 'Hey daddy, it's easy to read with all this light.' Nobody give a fk about dads!
school yearbook loner
I saw the yearbook picture. There was six of them! I ain't have six friends in high school, I don't have six friends now! That's three on three with a half court.
should-have osama-bin-laden empty
The Democrats should have an empty chair on stage for the entire DNC, and when anyone asks who it belongs to, they can say Osama bin Laden.
daughter hate home
Whoever you hate will end up in your family. You don't like gays? You're gonna have a gay son. You don't like Puerto Ricans? Your daughter's gonna come home with Livin' La Vida Loca!
drama want
When you make drama you are like Picasso. Drama is whatever you want it to be.
firsts first-time meetings
WHEN YOU MEET SOMEBODY FOR THE FIRST TIME, YOU'RE NOT MEETING THEM. YOU'RE MEETING THEIR REPRESENTATIVE.
math
There's math, and everything else is debatable!
government drug use
The government doesn't want you to use YOUR drugs, they want you to use THEIR drugs.
knows
Funny is only something that others know about you - you can't be funny by yourself.
clueless differences racism
There's a difference between racism and "I don't know any better. I'm clueless." Racism is like, "I'm trying to make you feel bad." That's racism.
hate people black
I love black people, but I hate niggers.
nervous should
Anything you can suck at should make you nervous.
careers comedian comfort
Comedians tend to find a comfort zone and stay there and do lamer versions of themselves for the rest of their career.