Chris Rock
Chris Rock
Christopher Julius "Chris" Rock III is an American comedian, actor, and producer...
ProfessionComedian
Date of Birth7 February 1965
CityAndrews, SC
funny school humor
School shootings were invented by blacks... and stolen by the white man.
lasts oscars welcome
Welcome to the 77th and last Oscars.
writing laughing want
The thing about having an audience right there laughing is that critics can write what they want, but the proof is right there in front of you.
faces want bigs
No, I want big ol' titties in my face!
planes gas i-can
I can't even put gas in my plane!
real emotional affair
Emotional affairs, those are the only real affairs; those are the real ones.
guy house scared
I'll go with the guy with one house. The guy with one house is scared about losing his house.
yoga people mind
Why do people do yoga? To clear their minds? I embrace the clutter in my head.
couple spices married
Whenever I go out with other married couples, I like to bring along a single crackhead. Just to spice things up.
white people black
People are always going to, you know, find something wrong with people who are not the exact same as them. That's just what it is. Black, white, short, tall, religions, whatever. People are bad.
jesus years nerves
We Americans commercialize everything. Look at what we did to Christmas. Christmas is Jesus' birthday. Now, I don't know Jesus, but from what I read he was the least materialistic person who ever walked the earth. No bling on Jesus. He kept a low profile and we turned his birthday into the most commercial day of the year. In fact we have a whole Jesus birthday season. And then at the end of it, we have the nerve to have an economist come on TV and say what a horrible Jesus birthday season we had.
daughter daddy doe
One of my daughters told me the other day, "Kevin Hart is funnier than you, Daddy." I told her, "Does Kevin Hart make you pancakes?"
cutting years cracks
It used to take years to become a junkie. But crack cut that down to 37 minutes.
zebras men white-man
Give me a black man, a white woman, a giraffe, a zebra anything but another white man! That last one f***ed up my roof!