Demetri Martin
Demetri Martin
Demetri Evan Martinis an American comedian, actor, artist, musician, writer, and humorist. He is best known for his work as a stand-up comedian, being a contributor on The Daily Show, and his Comedy Central show Important Things with Demetri Martin...
NationalityAmerican
ProfessionComedian
Date of Birth25 May 1973
CityNew York City, NY
CountryUnited States of America
sweet jobs guy
Yes, okay, it's cool to be quirky, maybe, on the side. Do some puzzles, make puzzles, whatever, learn how to ride a unicycle. That's cool when it's on the side and you have a plan. What happens when you remove the plan? What you're left with is a guy who likes to do anagrams. And doesn't have a job... Sweet, that's a catch.
knives perfect frustrated
The plastic knife is perfect for when a person just wants to make some marks on his food and get insanely frustrated at the same time.
lonely stupid looks
I wonder if there were any goths in gothic times. They're like: You look completely appropriate. You don't look stupid or lonely at all.
giving dry lines
There's a very fine line between giving someone the Heimlich maneuver and dry-humping a stranger.
thinking bears worms
I think bears and worms aren't very similar... until you think of gummy.
grateful lucky appreciative
I feel so fortunate to be one of the lucky ones who is so grateful and appreciative to know such great synonyms for thankful.
sorry moving voice
I am sometimes referred to as Excuse Me in an annoyed tone of voice, because apparently I am in the way. I am so sorry. I am supposed to be some sort of mind reader, I guess. I am moving out of the way now as slowly as I possibly can. I am doing this and there's nothing you can do about it.
powerful mean men
Man is the most powerful creature on the planet. And we're arrogant. I mean, people own birds. It's like, there's a creature with the gift of flight. I want it. I'm going to put it in my kitchen and make it crap on old information.
society able wonder
I wonder if, as a society, we will ever be able to call someone a jive tofurkey.
morning voice phones
I ordered a wake-up call the other day. The phone rang and a woman's voice said, 'What the hell are you doing with your life?'
years guy ever-after
After going through years of litigation to get royalties due to him, the guy who coined the term 'happily ever after' lived reasonably well for a while.
success america waterfalls
In America, one sure sign of success is the presence of an unnecessary waterfall in a person's yard.
beer alcohol bed
If you drink enough beer, everything turns in to a bed.
nipples milk rice
What's this about rice milk? I didn't even know rice had nipples!