Emo Philips
Emo Philips
Emo Philipsis an American entertainer and comedian born in the Chicago suburb of Downers Grove. Much of his standup comedy stems from the use of paraprosdokians spoken in a wandering falsetto tone of voice and a confused, childlike delivery of his material to produce the intended comic timing in a manner invoking the 'wisdom of children' or the idiot savant...
NationalityAmerican
ProfessionComedian
Date of Birth7 February 1956
CityChicago, IL
CountryUnited States of America
I go from stool to stool in singles bars hoping to get lucky, but there's never any gum under any of them.
Well! I feel happy these days. I've started taking a herbal anti-depressant. It's called Saint John's Wort. Apparently it's the best-selling anti-depressant in many places. It's the most popular anti-depressant in Germany... After, I'm guessing, amnesia...
Because we allow handguns. When you know someone in the crowd might be packing a rod, it can't help but rush your timing.
I was sick of people making fun of my hair and so I cut it off and I've got much more attention than ever before. It was like when Mona Lisa was stolen from the Louvre in 1906 - three times more people came to see where it used to be.
Ambiguity is the devil's volleyball.
A friend of mine gave me a Philip Glass record. I listened to it for five hours before I realized it had a scratch on it.
Countries are making nuclear weapons like there is no tomorrow.
I have a lot more things to talk about now because I'm an adult.
I asked my girlfriend, 'Will you marry me?' She said, 'We'll have to ask my father.' So we had a seance and Jack Ruby says, 'Hello!'
England is better only because I stand out there as 'unusual'.
Actually, my cd was released in 1985, in return for two German missionaries and a Dutch urologist.
When I wake up in the morning, I just can't get started until I've had that first, piping hot pot of coffee. Oh, I've tried other enemas.
Race is still somewhat of a taboo in comedy. But if you're a minority, then you can make fun of your own minority. And that's a nice service that many of them provide.
Well, my brother says Hello. So, hooray for speech therapy.