Henny Youngman
Henny Youngman
Henry "Henny" Youngmanwas an American comedian and violinist famous for his mastery of the "one-liner". His best known one-liner was "Take my wife ... please"...
NationalityAmerican
ProfessionComedian
Date of Birth16 March 1906
CountryUnited States of America
central-park four parks
I live about four muggings from Central Park.
religion coward accounts
I don't fly on account of my religion. I'm a devout coward.
drinking beer drunk
A drunk was in front of a judge. The judge says "You've been brought here for drinking." The drunk says "Okay, let's get started.
years doing-nothing impossible
Who says nothing is impossible? I've been doing nothing for years.
marriage letting-go hands
We always hold hands. If I let go, she shops.
nice men next-day
A guy complains of a headache. Another guy says, Do what I do. I put my head on my wife's bosom, and the headache goes away. The next day, the man says, Did you do what I told you to? Yes, I sure did. By the way, you have a nice house!
hitting behinds
Why are you hitting me, there is nobody behind us!
years two people
Americans are getting stronger. Twenty years ago, it took two people to carry ten dollars' worth of groceries. Today, a five-year-old can do it.
killing shots made
I just made a killing in the stock market -- I shot my broker.
husband men doors
When a man opens a car door for his wife, it's either a new car or a new wife. My wife dresses to kill. She cooks the same way.
different answers asks
Everytime I ask what time it is, I get a different answer.
years alaska bishops
A priest is sent to Alaska. A bishop goes up to visit one year later. The bishop asks, How do you like it up here? The priest says, If it wasn't for my Rosary, and 2 martinis a day, I'd be lost. Bishop, would you like a martini? Yes. Rosary, get the bishop a martini!
horse past gambling
I bet on a horse at ten-to-one. It didn't come in until half-past five.
wine littles dinner
The usual way - a little wine, a little dinner....