Joan Rivers
Joan Rivers
Joan Alexandra Molinsky, better known as Joan Rivers, was an American comedian, actress, writer, producer, and television host noted for her often controversial comedic persona—where she was alternately self-deprecating or sharply acerbic, especially toward celebrities and politicians...
NationalityAmerican
ProfessionComedian
Date of Birth8 June 1933
CountryUnited States of America
baby carry display father per pictures wants whenever
Whenever there's a new baby in my family, even if I don't know who the father is, I display pictures of it. But only one or two per child. No one wants to see 37 pictures of your grandchild - which is also why you must never carry more than one picture of each grandchild in your wallet.
hoping meet
We were hoping to meet Mr. Right. We didn't even get a wink.
enjoy happenings
Nothing is yours permanently so you better enjoy it while it's happening.
grandchildren pigs talking
Grandchildren can be annoying - how many times can you go: "And the cow goes moo and the pig goes oink"? It's like talking to a supermodel.
alzheimers comedian might
I must admit I am nervous about getting Alzheimer's. Once it hits, I might tell my best joke and never know it.
funny-love love-you funny-relationship
My best birth control now is just to leave the lights on.
love-and-marriage doe spit
You don’t marry for love. What does love got to do with marriage? I spit on love and marriage. You marry for money.
projects runway heidi
I can't like watching Project Runway with Heidi Klum. There's just something wrong about a German woman saying who goes and who stays
san-francisco trying stylist
They almost had to cancel the Oscars tonight because all of the designers and stylists are still in line in San Francisco trying to marry one another.
camps buddy my-own
I was my own buddy in camp.
apologizing comedy should
Comedy is truth. We should not apologize for it.
self-confidence ego comedy
I felt a comedy ego beginning to grow, which gave me the courage to begin tentatively looking into myself for material.
jewelry sometimes hillarious
I like colonic irrigation because sometimes you find old jewelry.
nipples lows feeler
My boobs are so low I had to put curb feelers on my nipples!