Famous Quotes & Sayings

Michel de Montaigne

If you don't know how to die, don't worry; Nature will tell you what to do on the spot, fully and adequately. She will do this job perfectly for you; don't bother your head about it.

Michel de Montaigne

When I play with my cat, who knows whether she is not amusing herself with me more than I with her.

Michel de Montaigne

Fortune, seeing that she could not make fools wise, has made them lucky.

Michel de Montaigne

Marriage, a market which has nothing free but the entrance.

Mark Twain

I have not professionally dealt in truth. Many when they come to die have spent all the truth that was in them, and enter the next world as paupers. I have saved up enough to make an astonishment there.

Mark Twain

The Creator made Italy from designs by Michelangelo.

Mark Twain

All generalizations are false, including this one.

Aaron Williams

Liam is real cool. He's a funny guy. He's real smart, and he shows real good leadership on and off the court.

Ed Reed

Let it play. It's funny. I'm glad I got that highlight if they are going to keep playing it and put me on TV like that.

Lost a planet Master Obi-Wan has. How embarrassing

Will Rogers

So live that you would not mind selling your pet parrot to the town gossip

She was real sweet. She was funny and outgoing.

Poetry slams too often are a gathering of the Metaphorswho likened all things to all other things never identifying Essences;leaving nothing as the core..

George Bernard Shaw

I am sick of reasonable people: they see all the reasons for being lazy and doing nothing.

Cassidy Freeman

I am such that person that, when I'm working, I'm like, 'Oh, what I wouldn't give for a weekend off!' And then, as soon as I have more that 18 hours without anything to do, I start shaking. It's really funny.

Addison Timlin

I'm a sucker for Thought Catalog. Shelby Fero is really funny on Twitter. And Patton Oswalt, he's sort of like a Twitter throb.

Gerard Way

One time, Bert and I were making out for so long it wasn't even funny..But then it was funny.

Jason Segel

Funny enough, there have been puppets in everything I've written because I have a huge love of puppets. There's a big puppet musical at the end of 'Sarah Marshall.' I wrote 'The Muppets.'

IE 7 is a pretty good catch-up. But it does some funny things with tabs and the UI that I don't understand why they did it.

Jerry Seinfeld

Some of the events in the Olympics don't make sense to me. I don't understand the connection to any reality... Like in the Winter Olympics they have that biathlon that combines cross-country skiing with shooting a gun. How many alpine snipers are into this? Ski, shoot a gun... ski, bang, bang, bang... It's like combining swimming and strangling a guy. Why don't we have that? That makes absolutely as much sense to me. Just put people in the pool at the end of each lane for the swimmers.

Jim Gaffigan

I never have free time, I don't know about you. You ever go to the cash machine, there's two people in line in front of you and you get kinda flustered, you're like "Forget it! I'm not standing here for 40 seconds. I got things to do, okay?"

Jim Gaffigan

Lifetime is television for women. Yet for some reason, there's always a woman getting beaten on that channel. "In a Lifetime original, Meredith Baxter-Berney gets beaten with a rod. In a Lifetime original, Rod."

Jim Gaffigan

There were times in my life when I had one thing to do all day, but I still couldn’t get to it. “I gotta go to the post office, but I’d probably have to put on pants. And they’re only open till five. Looks like I’m going to have to do that next week.

Jim Gaffigan

I'm the youngest, too. When you're the youngest of a big family, people are like, "You're the baby, you're spoiled!" The fact of the matter is, when you're the youngest of a big family, by the time you're a teenager, your parents are insane. You're like, "Hey, I'm going roller-skating-" "You're not going roller-skating or you'll end up pregnant like your sister. Why don't you smoke pot and become a lawyer?"

Jim Gaffigan

You can never look that tough in glasses. ... You never see somebody push up their glasses and say, "I'm gonna kick your ass."

Jennifer Lawrence

I'm sorry, I just did a shot

Jennifer Lawrence

We hould totally make out right now

Jennifer Lawrence

Why can't I say anything normal?

Jennifer Lawrence

Hervey (Weinstein) thank you for killing whoever you had to kill to get me up here today

Jennifer Lawrence

If I don't have anything to do all day, I might not even put my pants on.

Jennifer Lawrence

I never leave my house. Then I don't have to put a bra on, and I don't have to change my pants.

Jennifer Lopez

A romantic comedy has to be funny and make you think about life; but the obstacle that has to be overcome is key.

Jennifer Lopez

If you ask me, I'd like to become the first female president. That would be really cool. The first thing I would do is redecorate the White House, it doesn't look very cozy.