Quotes about funny
funny happiness crazy
A lifetime of happiness! No man alive could bear it: it would be hell on earth. George Bernard Shaw
funny baby book
Two people getting together to write a book is like three people getting together to have a baby. One of them is superfluous.
funny baby ruth
Who is this Baby Ruth? And what does she do?
funny stupid humor
I have defined the hundred per cent American as ninety-nine per cent an idiot.
funny witty men
There is no satisfaction in hanging a man who does not object to it.
funny lying humor
The faults of the burglar are the qualities of the financier.
funny sarcastic communication
The trouble with her is that she lacks the power of conversation but not the power of speech.
funny dream womb
Every dream is a prophecy: every jest is an earnest in the womb of Time.
funny fashion witty
A fashion is nothing but an induced epidemic.
funny birthday time
Every man over forty is a scoundrel.
funny change time
Everything happens to everybody sooner or later if there is time enough.
funny life marriage
Do not do unto others as you expect they should do unto you. Their tastes may not be the same.
funny anniversary marriage
Marriage is an alliance entered into by a man who can't sleep with the window shut, and a woman who can't sleep with the window open.
funny mean men
Why, except as a means of livelihood, a man should desire to act on the stage when he has the whole world to act in, is not clear to me.
funny witty learning
We learn from experience that men never learn anything from experience.
funny wisdom country
Patriotism is your conviction that this country is superior to all others because you were born in it.
funny education art
A fool's brain digests philosophy into folly, science into superstition, and art into pedantry. Hence University education.
funny-inspirational men hegel
Hegel was right when he said that we learn from history that man can never learn anything from history.
funny-inspirational vegetarianism average
The average age (longevity) of a meat eater is 63. I am on the verge of 85 and still work as hard as ever. I have lived quite long enough and am trying to die; but I simply cannot do it. A single beef-steak would finish me; but I cannot bring myself to swallow it. I am oppressed with a dread of living forever. That is the only disadvantage of vegetarianism.
funny life drinking
Alcohol is the anesthesia by which we endure the operation of life.
funny happy-birthday time
Youth is a wonderful thing. What a crime to waste it on children.
funny humor soldier
NAPOLEON: What shall we do with this soldier, Giuseppe? Everything he says is wrong. GIUSEPPE: Make him a general, Excellency, and then everything he says will be right.
funny forever eulogy
Do not try to live forever. You will not succeed.
funny motivational flying
Both optimists and pessimists contribute to society. The optimist invents the aeroplane, the pessimist the parachute.
funny witty clever
Clever and attractive women do not want to vote; they are willing to let men govern as long as they govern men.
funny work congratulations
The secret to success is to offend the greatest number of people.
funny beauty humor
Beauty is all very well at first sight; but who ever looks at it when it has been in the house three days?
funny-friend love-is matter
Love is only chatter, friends are all that matter. Gelett Burgess
funny hate antipathy
I don't hate you.. I just don't like that you exist Gena Showalter
funny football winning
Football is a simple game. Twenty-two men chase a ball for 90 minutes and at the end, the Germans always win. Gary Lineker
funny farewell men
The farewell between Hitler and Mussolini at the station was very affectionate. Both men were moved. Galeazzo Ciano
funny fighting world
In the fight between you and the world, back the world. Franz Kafka
funny country america
Every country gets the circus it deserves. Spain gets bullfights. Italy the Church. America Hollywood. Erica Jong