Famous Quotes & Sayings

W. C. Fields

Alcoholic: anybody who drinks more than I do.

W. C. Fields

This job will drive me to drink, and for that reason, I will be eternally grateful.

W. C. Fields

I never drink water; that is the stuff that rusts pipes.

W. C. Fields

There comes a time in the affairs of man when he must take the bull by the tail and face the situation.

W. C. Fields

I like children - fried.

W. C. Fields

A woman drove me to drink and I didn't even have the decency to thank her.

W. C. Fields

I drink therefore I am.

W. C. Fields

A rich man is nothing but a poor man with money.

W. C. Fields

I never drink water because of the disgusting things that fish do in it.

W. C. Fields

The best cure for insomnia is to get a lot of sleep.

W. C. Fields

Always carry a flagon of whiskey in case of snakebite and furthermore always carry a small snake.

W. C. Fields

Horse sense is the thing a horse has which keeps it from betting on people.

W. C. Fields

I cook with wine, sometimes I even add it to the food.

W. C. Fields

Some things are better than sex, and some are worse, but there's nothing exactly like it.

Zsa Zsa Gabor

To a smart girl men are no problem - they're the answer.

Zach Galifianakis

I dream of moving to India, or Pakistan, and becoming a cabdriver.

Zach Galifianakis

You know you have a drinking problem when the bartender knows your name -- and you've never been to that bar before.

Yul Brynner

Girls have an unfair advantage over men: if they can't get what they want by being smart, they can get it by being dumb.

Zig Ziglar

There is only one thing worse than training employees and losing them, and that's not training them and keeping them

William Glasser

There are only two places in the world where time takes precedence over the job to be done. School and prison.

William Goldman

Inconceivable!" "You keep using that word. I do not think it means what you think it means.

Warren Zevon

I'll sleep when I'm dead.

Washington Irving

Who ever hears of fat men heading a riot, or herding together in turbulent mobs? No - no, your lean, hungry men who are continually worrying society, and setting the whole community by the ears.

Washington Irving

Young lawyers attend the courts, not because they have business there, but because they have no business.

Washington Irving

They who drink beer will think beer.

Walter Lippmann

Brains, you know, are suspect in the Republican Party.

Voltaire

Let us work without theorizing, tis the only way to make life endurable.

Voltaire

There are men who can think no deeper than a fact.

Voltaire

By appreciation, we make excellence in others our own property.

Voltaire

The superfluous, a very necessary thing.

Voltaire

It is one of the superstitions of the human mind to have imagined that virginity could be a virtue.

Voltaire

I have never made but one prayer to God, a very short one: 'O Lord make my enemies ridiculous.' And God granted it.

Voltaire

God created sex. Priests created marriage.