Famous Quotes & Sayings

Robin Williams

We had gay burglars the other night. They broke in and rearranged the furniture.

Robin Williams

Having George W. Bush giving a lecture on business ethics is like having a leper give you a facial, it just doesn't work!

Robin Williams

Never pick a fight with an ugly person, they've got nothing to lose.

Robin Williams

Why do they call it rush hour when nothing moves?

Robin Williams

Cricket is basically baseball on valium.

Robin Williams

The Statue of Liberty is no longer saying, 'Give me your poor, your tired, your huddled masses.' She's got a baseball bat and yelling, 'You want a piece of me?'

Robin Williams

I wonder what chairs think about all day: "Oh, here comes another asshole."

Robin Williams

Ah, yes, divorce... from the Latin word meaning to rip out a man's genitals through his wallet.

Robert Quillen

As we grow older, our bodies get shorter and our anecdotes longer.

Satchel Paige

Airplanes may kill you, but they ain't likely to hurt you.

Satchel Paige

Money and women. They're two of the strongest things in the world. The things you do for a woman you wouldn't do for anything else. Same with money.

Satchel Paige

I never threw an illegal pitch. The trouble is, once in a while I toss one that ain't never been seen by this generation.

Satchel Paige

Don't look back. Something might be gaining on you.

Sarah Vowell

I probably am a cranky writer, but I am actually a fairly nice, normal person. Since I'm a grouchy writer, of course I have friends whose books are doing way better than mine.

Sandra Boynton

Research tells us that fourteen out of any ten individuals like chocolate.

Samuel Johnson

I would be loath to speak ill of any person who I do not know deserves it, but I am afraid he is an attorney.

Vittorio De Sica

Moral indignation in most cases is, 2% moral, 48% indignation, and 50% envy.

William Howard Taft

Well, I have one consolation. No candidate was ever elected ex-president by such a large majority!

William Howard Taft

Roosevelt could always keep ahead with his work, but I cannot do it, and I know it is a grievous fault, but it is too late to remedy it. The country must take me as it found me. Wasn't it your mother who had a servant girl who said it was no use for her to try to hurry, that she was a "Sunday chil" and no "Sunday chil" could hurry? I don't think I am a Sunday child, but I ought to have been; then I would have had an excuse for always being late.

Will Smith

Just because the kid's cute, doesn't mean you're not the father.

Will Smith

Sorry, I'm allergic to bullshit.

Will Smith

Correct me if I'm wrong, but isn't driving around on a bus and having a campfire kind of adding to the environment problem?

Will Smith

The only man you will ever get is some fool named Grady who falls asleep in his soup.

Will Smith

Well, all I know is what I read in the papers.

Warren Buffett

You don't ever ask a barber whether you need a haircut.

Warren Buffett

Only when the tide goes out do you discover who's been swimming naked.

Warren Buffett

The only time to buy these is on a day with no 'y' in it.

Warren Buffett

It's better to hang out with people better than you. Pick out associates whose behavior is better than yours and you'll drift in that direction.

Warren Buffett

Rule No.1: Never lose money. Rule No.2: Never forget rule No.1.

Vlade Divac

We all get heavier as we get older because there's a lot more information in our heads.

Walter Bagehot

In my youth I hoped to do great things; now I shall be satisfied to get through without scandal.

Samuel Goldwyn

A bachelor's life is no life for a single man.

Samuel Goldwyn

That's the trouble with directors. Always biting the hand that lays the golden egg.