Author unknown
Author unknown
hit women
Women may not hit harder, but they hit lower.
gift history present today tomorrow yesterday
Yesterday is history, tomorrow a mystery, but today is a gift that is why it is called the present
appear appreciate attitude final gain happiness joys life loss pain rain satisfy smallest spirit sun wish
I wish you enough sun to keep your attitude bright. I wish you enough rain to appreciate the sun more. I wish you enough happiness to keep your spirit alive. I wish you enough pain so that the smallest joys in life appear much bigger. I wish you enough gain to satisfy your wanting. I wish you enough loss to appreciate all that you possess. I wish enough hellos to get you through the final good-bye.
wake
Sometimes I wake up grumpy; other times I let her sleep.
copyright effective known man protection scratched
The most effective copyright protection known to man : a scratched CD.
planet save
Save the Earth... it's the only planet with chocolate.
insult rubs tv
A TV can insult your intelligence, but nothing rubs it in like a computer.
artificial intelligence match natural
Artificial intelligence is no match for natural stupidity.
fruit knowing knowledge putting tomato wisdom
Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit; Wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad.
christian church garage standing
Going to church doesn't make you a Christian any more than standing in a garage makes you a car.
dolphins edge few people pool smart stand throw train weeks within
Did you know that dolphins are so smart that within a few weeks of captivity, they can train people to stand on the very edge of the pool and throw them fish?
cares couple missing nobody
If you think nobody cares if you're alive, try missing a couple of payments.
diplomat forward hell
A diplomat is someone who can tell you to go to hell in such a way that you will look forward to the trip.
rag smell
Does this rag smell like chloroform to you?