Demetri Martin
Demetri Martin
Demetri Evan Martinis an American comedian, actor, artist, musician, writer, and humorist. He is best known for his work as a stand-up comedian, being a contributor on The Daily Show, and his Comedy Central show Important Things with Demetri Martin...
NationalityAmerican
ProfessionComedian
Date of Birth25 May 1973
CityNew York City, NY
CountryUnited States of America
two people internet
It feels like every day or two, people on Twitter and the Internet are outraged about something.
thinking role-models people
It's funny: when people always talk about the importance of role models, I used to think that was so exaggerated, but as I get older, I start to realize I don't feel that way so much anymore. If you see somebody like you who's doing something, an older version of what you are, it does make you feel like it's more possible.
people want tacos
I've met a few people who were passive-aggressive, but I've never met anyone who was aggressive-passive. I don't want tacos! Maybe.
games people different
Hot Potato is a very different game when the people playing are starving.
people black sticks
Most stick people are black.
country people ifs
People only mention it's a free country if they're doing something shitty.
night lasts stories
When telling a story about how wasted you were last night, stop.
multiple-choice choices tests
When I am given a multiple choice test I choose not to take it.
sexy scotch tape
If you want to feel less sexy put scotch tape on your nipples.
night amputees twister
The other night I was playing twister with some amputees.
fire giving arms
If you happen to catch on fire during the show, do not panic or wave your arms around or scream or we wil give something to panic and wave you arms around and scream about.
queens kings men
Checkers taught me that a King is a man with another man on top of him. But life taught me that that's actually called a Queen.
average scream ends
If you stretched the average person's intestines out from end to end, it would make them scream a lot.
looks slow-motion eating
A lot of things look cooler in slow motion. Eating isn't one of them.