Joan Rivers
Joan Rivers
Joan Alexandra Molinsky, better known as Joan Rivers, was an American comedian, actress, writer, producer, and television host noted for her often controversial comedic persona—where she was alternately self-deprecating or sharply acerbic, especially toward celebrities and politicians...
NationalityAmerican
ProfessionComedian
Date of Birth8 June 1933
CountryUnited States of America
children airplane next
What could be nicer than to have three horrible children behind you in an airplane, and the next set, you go onstage and you talk about how much you despise the children and what you would like to do to them on an airplane? That's the only time I would gladly take a terrorist on. It'd be worth it to get rid of these children.
college who-you-know use
You're college graduates now, so use your education. Remember: It's not who you know, it's whom.
funny life stranger
Never floss with a stranger.
thank-you country fashion
Thank God we're living in a country where the sky's the limit, the stores are open late and you can shop in bed thanks to television.
age mammograms pedicures
My breasts are so low now I can have a mammogram and a pedicure at the same time.
funny hilarious mistake
A man can sleep around, no questions asked, but if a woman makes nineteen or twenty mistakes she's a tramp.
funny humor groups
My routines come out of total unhappiness. My audiences are my group therapy.
memorable laughing comedian
I've had so much plastic surgery, when I die they will donate my body to Tupperware.
funny mother witty
I told my mother-in-law that my house was her house, and she said, 'Get the hell off my property.'
love pain husband
Before we make love my husband takes a pain killer.
inspirational funny running
The first time I see a jogger smiling, I'll consider it.
funny witty women
If God wanted us to bend over he'd put diamonds on the floor.
funny-love love-you funny-relationship
My best birth control now is just to leave the lights on.
sexy age underwear
You know why I feel older? I went to buy sexy underwear and they automatically gift wrapped it.