Famous Quotes & Sayings

Groucho Marx

No man goes before his time - unless the boss leaves early.

Groucho Marx

Room service? Send up a larger room.

Groucho Marx

I refuse to join any club that would have me as a member.

Groucho Marx

I love my cigar too, but I take it out of my mouth once in a while.

Groucho Marx

The only real laughter comes from despair.

Groucho Marx

Before I speak, I have something important to say.

Groucho Marx

This isn't a particularly novel observation, but the world is full of people who think they can manipulate the lives of others merely by getting a law passed.

Jim Davis

When all else fails, look cute.

Glen Hansard

You know, albums are a funny thing. They're not like an intellectual decision. It's a collection of your kind of musings. Like it's a collection of your diary entries and you pick which one's gonna make the most sense together and you put out a record and you sort of live it.

Frank Zappa

Most rock journalism is people who can't write, interviewing people who can't talk, for people who can't read.

Frank Zappa

The most important thing to do in your life is to not interfere with somebody else's life.

Honore de Balzac

No man should marry until he has studied anatomy and dissected at least one woman.

Jack Paar

Hollywood, we decided, was a nice place to die, but we wouldn't want to live there.

Isaac Asimov

People who think they know everything are a great annoyance to those of us who do.

Homer

Good things don't end in -eum; they end in -mania or -teria.

Geraldine Ferraro

It was not so very long ago that people thought that semiconductors were part-time orchestra leaders and microchips were very small snack foods.

J. K. Rowling

There are some things you can't share without ending up liking each other.

J. K. Rowling

But Dumbledore says he doesn't care what they do as long as they don't take him off the Chocolate Frog cards.

H. L. Mencken

Men have a much better time of it than women. For one thing, they marry later; for another thing, they die earlier.

Jerry Coleman

Ozzie Smith just made another play that I've never seen anyone else make before, and I've seen him make it more often than anyone else ever has.

Jerry Coleman

Trailing 5-1, the Padres added an insurance run in the eighth inning.

Jerry Coleman

Eric Show will be 0 for 10 if that pop fly ever comes down.

Jerry Coleman

They throw Winfield out at second, but he's safe.

Jerry Coleman

The ex-left-hander Dave Roberts will be going for Houston.

Jerry Coleman

Even though the ball was doubled, they got it anyway.

Jerry Coleman

You walk into the locker room, and you see players with their ripping muscles and stomachs you could wash your clothes in.

Jerry Coleman

That big guy, Winfield, at 6'6", can do things only a small man can do.

Jerry Coleman

I like to use big words so people will think I know what I'm talking about.

Hunter S. Thompson

I have a theory that the truth is never told during the nine-to-five hours.

Denis Leary

Some people expect me to be funny all the time, and I'm not necessarily funny all the time.

What most readers do not realize is that it takes a particular genius to write funny, to satirize.

Samuel Butler

Parents are the last people on earth who ought to have children.

Erma Bombeck

My kids always perceived the bathroom as a place where you wait it out until all the groceries are unloaded from the car.