Quotes about funny
funny country peace
I believe Ronald Reagan can make this country what it once was... a large Arctic region covered with ice. Robin Williams
funny life inspiration
Reality is just a crutch for people who can't cope with drugs.
funny witty inspiration
If it's the Psychic Network why do they need a phone number?
funny business humor
Having George W. Bush giving a lecture on business ethics is like having a leper give you a facial, it just doesn't work!
funny sports baseball
Don't look back. Something might be gaining on you. Satchel Paige
funny cute sarcastic
Just because the kid's cute, doesn't mean you're not the father. Will Smith
funny sarcastic driving
Correct me if I'm wrong, but isn't driving around on a bus and having a campfire kind of adding to the environment problem?
funny witty stupid
A bachelor's life is no life for a single man. Samuel Goldwyn
funny humor blow
His breath is so bad why every time he smokes he blows onion rings. Rodney Dangerfield
funny cousin humor
My cousin is gay, I always tell him that in our family tree, he's in the fruit section.
funny good-morning mother
My mother had morning sickness after I was born.
funny girl humor
A girl phoned me the other day and said... 'Come on over, there's nobody home.' I went over. Nobody was home.
funny pregnancy humor
When I was a kid my parents moved a lot, but I always found them.
funny friendship humor
Friendship will not stand the strain of very much good advice for very long. Robert Staughton Lynd
funny money suffering
More than ever before, Americans are suffering from back problems: back taxes, back rent, back auto payments.
funny children kids
Do your kids a favor - don't have any.
funny work humor
There are days when it takes all you've got just to keep up with the losers.
funny graduation senior
A graduation ceremony is an event where the commencement speaker tells thousands of students dressed in identical caps and gowns that 'individuality' is the key to success.
funny nice might
I have been called Taylor Lautner a few time which I'm quite happy about. You only have to look at us to see how funny that is but it's nice to pretend I might be hiding a Taylor six-pack under my shirt. Robert Pattinson
funny would-be burgers
Xavier would be such a great burger. He's all covered in spread...
funny sports men
The person who proclaimed me Best Dressed Man never saw me in my sport outfit.
funny eyebrows vampire
I wonder if vampire's eyebrows can grow back.
funny son taught
I would have taught her a lesson she wouldn't forget!
funny feet knows
So I know where my feet are.
funny book talking
In this scene, I'm talking about how much I don't like cookies.... I'm sayin', 'Listen, guys. Have you read the book? We're not supposed to be eating.'
funny sexy people
People would be in hysterics if they saw that. It's like, wow, he's a superhuman moron.... So he wears lipstick, has a little bouffant, and does little circus acts as well. Oh, he's so sexy.
funny business believe
Republicans believe every day is the Fourth of July, but the democrats believe every day is April 15. Ronald Reagan
funny letting-go humorous
People are getting smarter nowadays; they are letting lawyers, instead of their conscience, be their guide. Will Rogers
funny movie witty
I'm not a real movie star. I've still got the same wife I started out with twenty-eight years ago.
funny witty humorous
What contemptible scoundrel has stolen the cork to my lunch? W. Clement Stone
funny health two
After two days in the hospital, I turn to the nurse. W. C. Fields
funny witty humorous
I cook with wine, sometimes I even add it to the food.
funny dream moving
I dream of moving to India, or Pakistan, and becoming a cabdriver. Zach Galifianakis