Famous Quotes & Sayings

Groucho Marx

Before I speak, I have something important to say.

Jim Davis

When all else fails, look cute.

Frank Zappa

Most rock journalism is people who can't write, interviewing people who can't talk, for people who can't read.

Honore de Balzac

No man should marry until he has studied anatomy and dissected at least one woman.

Jack Paar

Hollywood, we decided, was a nice place to die, but we wouldn't want to live there.

J. K. Rowling

But Dumbledore says he doesn't care what they do as long as they don't take him off the Chocolate Frog cards.

H. L. Mencken

Men have a much better time of it than women. For one thing, they marry later; for another thing, they die earlier.

Jerry Coleman

Ozzie Smith just made another play that I've never seen anyone else make before, and I've seen him make it more often than anyone else ever has.

Jerry Coleman

Trailing 5-1, the Padres added an insurance run in the eighth inning.

Jerry Coleman

Eric Show will be 0 for 10 if that pop fly ever comes down.

Jerry Coleman

They throw Winfield out at second, but he's safe.

Jerry Coleman

The ex-left-hander Dave Roberts will be going for Houston.

Jerry Coleman

Even though the ball was doubled, they got it anyway.

Jerry Coleman

You walk into the locker room, and you see players with their ripping muscles and stomachs you could wash your clothes in.

Jerry Coleman

That big guy, Winfield, at 6'6", can do things only a small man can do.

Jerry Coleman

I like to use big words so people will think I know what I'm talking about.

Hunter S. Thompson

I have a theory that the truth is never told during the nine-to-five hours.

Seth Rogen

I think when you do comedy, you play by a different set of rules. No one really wants you to be in that good shape. Being in good shape implies a level of vanity that isn't necessarily funny.

Raymond Chandler

He (The Agent) just takes ten per cent of your life.

William S. Burroughs

After one look at this planet any visitor from outer space would say 'I want to see the manager.'

Vinnie Jones

Winning doesn't really matter as long as you win

Woody Allen

When we played softball, I'd steal second base, feel guilty and go back.

Woody Allen

I took a test in Existentialism. I left all the answers blank and got 100.

Woody Allen

I don't think my parents liked me. They put a live teddy bear in my crib.

Woody Allen

I am thankful for laughter, except when milk comes out of my nose.

Woody Allen

There are worse things in life than death. Have you ever spent an evening with an insurance salesman?

Woody Allen

I'm very proud of my gold pocket watch. My grandfather, on his deathbed, sold me this watch.

Woody Allen

Some guy hit my fender, and I told him, 'Be fruitful and multiply,' but not in those words.

Woody Allen

My luck is getting worse and worse. Last night, for instance, I was mugged by a quaker.

Woody Allen

I have an intense desire to return to the womb. Anybody's.

Sarah Silverman

I'm Jewish, but I'm totally not.

Sarah Silverman

And we're just all made of molecules and we're hurtling through space right now.

Robin Williams

The Second Amendment! It says you have the right to bear arms, or the right to arm bears, whatever the hell you want to do!