Famous Quotes & Sayings

Steve Martin

I believe in eight of the ten commandments. I believe in going to church every Sunday... unless there's a game on.

Steve Martin

There is one thing I would break up over, and that is if she caught me with another woman. I won't stand for that.

Steve Martin

I used to smoke marijuana. But I’ll tell you something: I would only smoke it in the late evening. Oh, occasionally the early evening, but usually the late evening – or the mid-evening. Just the early evening, midevening and late evening. Occasionally, early afternoon, early midafternoon, or perhaps the late-midafternoon. Oh, sometimes the early-mid-late-early morning. . . . But never at dusk.

Steve Martin

Boy, those French: they have a different word for everything!

Steve Martin

Don't have sex man. It leads to kissing and pretty soon you have to start talking to them.

Steve Martin

It's so hard to believe in anything anymore. I mean, it's like, religion, you really can't take it seriously, because it seems so mythological, it seems so arbitrary...but, on the other hand, science is just pure empiricism, and by virtue of its method, it excludes metaphysics. I guess I wouldn't believe in anything anymore if it weren't for my lucky astrology mood watch.

Steve Martin

Chaos in the midst of chaos isn't funny, but chaos in the midst of order is.

Steve Martin

I think I did pretty well, considering I started out with nothing but a bunch of blank paper.

Steve Martin

I believe entertainment can aspire to be art, and can become art, but if you set out to make art you're an idiot.

Steve Martin

Writer's block is a fancy term made up by whiners so they can have an excuse to drink alcohol.

Steve Martin

I handed in a script last year and the studio didn't change one word. The word they didn't change was on page 87.

Steve Martin

Hosting the Oscars is much like making love to a woman. It's something I only get to do when Billy Crystal is out of town.

Steve Martin

I've always believed that there are funny people everywhere, but they're just not comedians. In fact, some of my best comedic inspirations were not professional entertainers.

Steve Martin

The greatest thing you can do is surprise yourself.

Steve Martin

Despite a lack of natural ability, I did have the one element necessary to all early creativity: naïveté, that fabulous quality that keeps you from knowing just how unsuited you are for what you are about to do.

Steve Martin

The banjo is such a happy instrument--you can't play a sad song on the banjo - it always comes out so cheerful.

Steve Martin

A celebrity is any well-known TV or movie star who looks like he spends more than two hours working on his hair.

Steve Martin

A day without sunshine is like, you know, night.

Steve Martin

I was deeply unhappy, but I didn't know it because I was so happy all the time.

Steve Martin

I believe in equality. Equality for everybody. No matter how stupid they are or how superior I am to them.

Steve Martin

Before you criticize a man, walk a mile in his shoes. That way, when you do criticize him, you'll be a mile away and have his shoes.

Stephen Hawking

To confine our attention to terrestrial matters would be to limit the human spirit.

Stephen Hawking

Life would be tragic if it weren't funny.

Stephen Hawking

We only have to look at ourselves to see how intelligent life might develop into something we wouldn't want to meet.

Stephen King

You can't deny laughter; when it comes, it plops down in your favorite chair and stays as long as it wants.

Ronald Reagan

Please assure me that you are all Republicans.

Ronald Reagan

Elena, my four year old, says to me in all seriousness; "Mommy, you need to buy another baby".

Ronald Reagan

Until now has there ever been a time in which so many of the prophecies are coming together? There have been times in the past when people thought the end of the world was coming, and so forth, but never anything like this.

Ronald Reagan

We were told four years ago that 17 million people went to bed hungry every night. Well, that was probably true. They were all on a diet.

Ronald Reagan

... a faceless mass, waiting for handouts.

Ronald Reagan

Today a newcomer to the state is automatically eligible for our many aid programs the moment he crosses the border.

Ronald Reagan

We think there is a parallel between federal involvement in education and the decline in profit over recent years.

Ronald Reagan

They've done away with those committees. That shows the success of what the Soviets were able to do in this country.