Famous Quotes & Sayings

Bo Burnham

There's a metal train that a mile long and at the very back end a lightning bolt struck her. How long til it reaches and kills the driver, provided that he's a good conductor?

Bo Burnham

For fifteen cents a day you can feed an African, they eat pennies.

Bo Burnham

I love you like a gay geneticist loves designer genes.

Bo Burnham

All you god damn dirty Catholics can cath-o-lick my balls.

Bo Burnham

In the distance, Bo saw a fairy. A fairy so beautiful that he felt proud of being called one in highschool.

Bo Burnham

I stopped and I thought, 'What would Jesus do?' So I didn't exist.

Bo Burnham

Women are like fingers and toes because they're easy to count on.

Bo Burnham

Twitter is a lot like crystal meth, because it's really fun to do and Oprah's on it.

Bo Burnham

When I tried to hit puberty I swung and I missed.

Bo Burnham

Poverty. Racism. Isn't it strange, only the homeless are begging for change?

Bo Burnham

Where are all the sour patch parents?

Bo Burnham

If I had a dime for every time a homeless guy asked me for change, I'd still say no.

Bill Peterson

You guys pair up in groups of three, then line up in a circle.

Bill Russell

On females officiating in the NBA -Incompetence should not be confined to one sex.

Gary Sinise

My wife's a loving, funny, Irish-spirited person, and I'm still surprised at some of the things she says. She makes me laugh every day.

John Mellencamp

It sounds funny, but I always try to keep an open mind about what I'm writing about. Sometimes I squeak my opinions in there, but generally I don't. I try to be objective about things that I'm writing about.

Lorrie Moore

I don't sit down to write a funny story. Every single thing I sit down to write is meant to be sad.

Khloe Kardashian

It's hysterical how kids have their own personalities, even at like 3 or 4. And, it's funny what they tend to like.

Kathryn Prescott

I don't have a type looks-wise, but all my exes have been funny, open-minded and ambitious. I can't stand men with no passion in life.

Karen Abbott

I think the most important thing journalism taught me is to mine for details. The details are key. You can't try to be funny or strange or poignant; you have to let the details be funny or strange or poignant for you.

Jimmy Swaggart

I gave my heart to the Lord, and I remember the incident vividly. The Lord spoke to me. I know that sounds funny. It was not an audible voice or anything of that nature.

Jane Bryant Quinn

The shortest period of time lies between the minute you put some money away for a rainy day and the unexpected arrival of rain.

Jane Austen

One half of the world cannot understand the pleasures of the other.

Jane Austen

For what do we live, but to make sport for our neighbors and laugh at them in our turn?

Jane Austen

Every man is surrounded by a neighborhood of voluntary spies.

Jane Austen

Where so many hours have been spent in convincing myself that I am right, is there not some reason to fear I may be wrong?

Jason Calacanis

I've developed some deep relationships over the past couple of years blogging and I realize that those relationships manifest themselves in the links I find when I do my x a daily ego search over at Technorati.

Jason Calacanis

The currency of blogging is authenticity and trust... you pay folks to blog about a product and you compromise that. I would almost care about this, but it's so obvious to everyone that this is either a joke or an idiot that there is nothing more to say.

Janna Levin

Forever is a very long time, especially the bit towards the end.

Jane Wyman

Ask him what time it is and he'll tell you how the watch was made.

Karl Kraus

How is the world ruled and led to war? Diplomats lie to journalists and believe these lies when they see them in print.

Calvin Coolidge

I have never been hurt by what I have not said.

Calvin Coolidge

I sometimes wish that people would put a little more emphasis upon the observance of the law than they do upon its enforcement.