Famous Quotes & Sayings

Steve Allen

Asthma doesn't seem to bother me any more unless I'm around cigars or dogs. The thing that would bother me most would be a dog smoking a cigar.

Stephen Crane

A man said to the universe: 'Sir, I exist!' 'However,' replied the universe. 'The fact has not created in me A sense of obligation.

Stephen Hawking

Eternity is a long time, especially towards the end.

Stanley Baldwin

A platitude is simply a truth repeated till people get tired of hearing it.

Stanislaw Jerzy Lec

The only fool bigger than the person who knows it all is the person who argues with him.

Stanislaw Lem

Is it progress if a cannibal uses a knife and fork?

Spike Milligan

Contraceptives should be used on every conceivable occasion.

Spike Milligan

I can speak Esperanto like a native.

Spike Milligan

How long was I in the army? Five foot eleven.

Spike Milligan

Never return to a doctor whose office plants have died. After five days in hospital, I took a turn for the nurse.

Spike Milligan

A sure cure for seasickness is to sit under a tree.

Spike Milligan

My Father had a profound influence on me. He was a lunatic.

Spike Milligan

Money can't buy you happiness but it does bring you a more pleasant form of misery.

Sigmund Freud

A woman should soften but not weaken a man.

Sigmund Freud

This is one race of people for whom psychoanalysis is of no use whatsoever.

Sigmund Freud

The great question that has never been answered, and which I have not yet been able to answer, despite my thirty years of research into the feminine soul, is 'What does a woman want?'

Shirley Temple

I stopped believing in Santa Claus when I was six. Mother took me to see him in a department store and he asked for my autograph.

Shirley MacLaine

A person who knows how to laugh at himself will never ceased to be amused.

Shirley MacLaine

The best way to get husbands to do something is to suggest that perhaps they are too old to do it.

Shelley Winters

I'm not overweight. I'm just nine inches too short.

Shawn Johnson

It sounds funny, but the 2008 Olympics were something that just kind of happened, and I was lucky they came at a point when I was uninjured and well prepared. As a gymnast, you can't ask for much more.

Shawn Johnson

I always feel like I'm the young one, I'm the small one.

Shaun White

I wear black skinny-fit jeans - I can't get away from them. It's funny because I wore baggy jeans for ages, then one day my friend convinced me to try on a skinny pair and I thought they were great.

Shahrukh Khan

Without hurting anybody, we all tend to laugh at others' discomfort. When someone slips on a banana skin and falls it's funny.

Shahrukh Khan

If I talk to a girl, it's assumed that I'm having a scene with her. If I don't, then it's assumed that I'm gay.

Scott Wood

The Heimlich maneuver works on house pets. My pit bull was choking on his dinner. I squeezed his stomach and the neighbor's cat shot right out.

Stevie Wonder

Time is long but life is short.

Stevie Wonder

Do you know, it's funny, but I never thought of being blind as a disadvantage, and I never thought of being black as a disadvantage.

Susan Hayward

My life is fair game for anybody. I spent an unhappy, penniless childhood in Brooklyn. I had to slug my way up in a town called Hollywood where people love to trample you to death. I don't relax because I don't know how. I don't want to know how. Life is too short to relax.

Steven Weinberg

It does not matter whether you win or lose, what matters is whether I win or lose!

Robby Krieger

I didn't plan on rock-n-roll. I wanted to learn jazz; I got to know some people doing rock-n-roll with jazz, and I thought I could make some money playing music.

Richard Simmons

One day I may be meeting you and hearing how you've changed your life by saying, "Farewell to Fat".

Ghosts, like ladies, never speak till spoke to.