Famous Quotes & Sayings

Craig Ferguson

Thanks cows. I appreciate your tastiness.

Craig Ferguson

If it doesn't work, at least it will be an interesting train wreck.

That's the old ecological tale that explains humans' inability to fully appreciate global warming. To wit: if you drop a frog in a pan of hot water, it jumps out. If you drop it in a pan of cold water, then turn the heat up slowly, you can roast it to death.

Coco Chanel

Nature gives you the face you have at twenty; it is up to you to merit the face you have at fifty.

Coco Chanel

My friends, there are no friends.

Clarence Day

If you don't go to other men's funerals, they won't go to yours.

Clarence Day

Age should not have its face lifted, but it should rather teach the world to admire wrinkles as the etchings of experience and the firm line of character.

Elizabeth Taylor

When you're fat, the world is divided into two groups - people who bug you and people who leave you alone. The funny thing is, supporters and saboteurs exist in either camp.

Elizabeth Jones

He is so shaggy. People are amazed when he gets up and they suddenly realize they have been talking to the wrong end.

Elizabeth Hurley

I've always wanted to be a spy, and frankly I'm a little surprised that British intelligence has never approached me.

Ashleigh Brilliant

I don't understand you. You don't understand me. What else do we have in common?

Ashleigh Brilliant

Forgive me now - tomorrow I may no longer feel guilty.

Ashleigh Brilliant

I try to take it one day at a time, but sometimes several days attack me at once.

Ashleigh Brilliant

For some strange reason, no matter where I go, the place is always called "here".

Ashleigh Brilliant

I don't have any solution, but I certainly admire the problem.

Ashleigh Brilliant

My opinions may have changed, but not the fact that I'm right.

Ashleigh Brilliant

To be sure of hitting the target, shoot first, and call whatever you hit the target

Ashleigh Brilliant

It could be that the purpose of your life is only to serve as a warning to others.

Arthur Helps

The greatest luxury of riches is that they enable you to escape so much good advice.

Arlo Guthrie

What's in that pipe that he's smoking?

Lucy Punch

I personally do not find puke funny. I find it disgusting.

Lucy Punch

As long as it's funny, there's no such thing as too far.

Lucy Punch

Someone told me I had funny facial expressions. I don't know whether I take that as a compliment or not, but.

Nikki Reed

I feel like every day of my life is a funny wardrobe malfunction!

Nathan Fielder

If I find something funny and make an older woman laugh, I love that for some reason.

Pink

I know my strong points: I work hard, I have talent, I'm funny, and I'm a good person.

Craig Kilborn

However, frat-boy humor is funny and it always will be.

Dominic Cooper

It's funny, I never think I'm doing that well. I've never, ever. I just constantly think, 'This isn't working out.'

Dallas Roberts

It's funny, my kids and I live together, and I have a lot of actor friends. So my kids think everyone is on television every now and again, since everyone they know pops up here, but there's a whole rap of things they won't watch until they're 16 or 17.

Val McDermid

There is still a funny notion that women should not write violent fiction.

Trey Parker

I think you could take any Bruckheimer movie and do it with puppets, and it would be screamingly funny.

Thomas Keller

No, it's funny, when I eat out it's not typically in the kind of restaurants people might imagine.

Aleksandr Solzhenitsyn

Everything you add to the truth subtracts from the truth.