Famous Quotes & Sayings

Victor Borge

I don't mind going back to daylight saving time. With inflation, the hour will be the only thing I've saved all year.

Victor Borge

Santa Claus has the right idea - visit people only once a year.

Vanilla Ice

I don't know all the certain words to word it.

V. S. Pritchett

The difference between farce and humour in literature is, I suppose, that farce strums louder and louder on one string, while humour varies its note, changes its key, grows and spreads and deepens until it may indeed reach tragic depths.

Tucker Max

The haters always scream the loudest.

Suzanne Collins

Well, don't expect us to be too impressed. We just saw Finnick Odair in his underwear.

Stephen Leacock

I detest life-insurance agents: they always argue that I shall some day die, which is not so.

Stephen King

I guess when you turn off the main road, you have to be prepared to see some funny houses.

Stephen King

I am the literary equivalent of a Big Mac and fries.

Stephen King

A woman who would steal your love when your love was really all you had to give was not much of a woman.

Solomon Schechter

You cannot be anything if you want to be everything.

Taylor Swift

I remember straightening my hair because I wanted to be like everybody else, and now the fact that anybody would emulate what I do? It's just funny.

Stacey King

After Michael Jordan had scored a play-off record 69 points - I'll always remember this as the night Michael and I combined to score 70 points.

Roy Orbison

I may be a living legend, but that sure don't help when I've got to change a flat tire.

Ronald Blythe

Old age is - a lot of crossed off names in an address book.

Ron White

If life gives you lemons, you should make lemonade....

Ron White

The arresting officer-who I had literally known all my life, you know what I mean? This guy lived four doors down from me in a town of less than 400 people. We've met. Anyway, at the station, he asks me if I have any aliases. And I was just being a smartass and said, "Yeah, they call me... Tater Salad." Seventeen years later, I'm handcuffed to a bench with blood coming out my nose, this cop comes up to me and says, "Are you Ron... 'Tater Salad' White?"

Ron Fairly

Bruce Sutter has been around for awhile and he's pretty old. He's thirty-five years old. That will give you some idea of how old he is.

Ron Fairly

Last night I neglected to mention something that bears repeating.

Rupert Brooke

A book may be compared to your neighbor: if it be good, it cannot last too long; if bad, you cannot get rid of it too early.

Rupert Everett

Hmm... Death by mini bar, how glamorous.

Tom Peters

I found myself declaiming, full flower, for an hour on the "utmost importance and urgency" of Blogging, telling him in no uncertain terms that, especially in a high-end niche business, Blogging is "the premier way" to have "intimate conversations" with his Clients. Funny thing, I believe it!

Tom Robbins

Rap music... sounds like somebody feeding a rhyming dictionary to a popcorn popper.

Tom Robbins

Well, there's one thing to be said for money. It can make you rich.

Tom Robbins

Birth and death were easy. It was life that was hard.

Tom Robbins

We're our own dragons as well as our own heroes, and we have to rescue ourselves from ourselves.

Tom Lehrer

The Army has carried the American ... ideal to its logical conclusion. Not only do they prohibit discrimination on the grounds of race, creed and color, but also on ability.

Tom Lehrer

Be careful not to do your good deeds when there's no one watching you.

Tom Lehrer

Alas, irreverence has been subsumed by mere grossness, at least in the so-called mass media. What we have now, to quote myself at my most pretentious, is a nimiety of scurrility with a concomitant exiguity of taste.

Tom Lehrer

I feel that if a person has problems communicating the very least he can do is to shut up.

Tom Lehrer

I know that there are people who do not love their fellow man, and I hate people like that!

Tom Arnold

My wife's nagging is like living near the airport. After a while you don't notice it any more.

Steve Wozniak

I think that the anti-Microsoft sentiment is simply due to their having been so successful selling a lot of crap.