Famous Quotes & Sayings

George Ade

Anybody can win - unless there happens to be a second entry.

Lord Byron

I only go out to get me a fresh appetite for being alone.

Dan Harmon

Pretty sad. Pretty lonely. But that's how I prefer it? I quess? I guess. It's a good guess. It's the best quess ever.

Amy Poehler

Girls, if a boy says something that isn't funny, you don't have to laugh.

Amy Poehler

Take your risks now; as you become older, you become more fearful and less flexible. And I mean that literally. I hurt my knee this week on the treadmill, and it wasn't even on.

Amy Poehler

Anybody who doesn't make you feel good, kick them to the curb. And the earlier you start in your life, the better.

Dan Chaon

A conclusion is simply the place where you got tired of thinking.

Rita Rudner

I read recipes the same way I read science fiction. I get to the end and say to myself "well, that's not going to happen

Simon Cowell

I actually don't understand a word Paula's saying anymore. It's like a new language.

Tina Fey

I think women dress for other women to let them know what their deal is. Because if women were only dressing for men, there would be nothing but Victoria's Secret. There would be no Dior.

Tina Fey

Confidence is 10 percent hard work and 90 percent delusion.

Michael Scott

I never avoid something that challenges my guts and my heart. While I might occasionally puke my guts out, I have never puked my heart out.

Miguel de Cervantes

The reason for the unreason with which you treat my reason , so weakens my reason that with reason I complain of your beauty.

Melissa Etheridge

This is the only naked man that will ever be in my bedroom.

Mariah Carey

I just want one day off when I can go swimming and eat ice cream and look at rainbows.

Martha Stewart

I want to focus on my salad.

I am truly obsessed with Lena Dunham. I find everything about her unique and refreshing. She is a brilliant, hilarious and honest writer who is not afraid to make her audience uncomfortable.

Since he's so tall and so big it was hilarious to see him do it.

Jerry Seinfeld

Introducing 'Lite': the new way to spell 'Light'; but with twenty per cent fewer letters.

Jerry Seinfeld

People who read the tabloids deserve to be lied to.

Hillary Clinton

Motown, Motown, that's my era. Those are my people.

Evan Esar

The best time to give advice to your children is while they're still young enough to believe you know what you're talking about.

Erma Bombeck

The odds of going to the store for a loaf of bread and coming out with only a loaf of bread are three billion to one.

Francine Pascal

It's so trendy, almost bleeding to death. All the cool girls are doing it.

Chris Kattan

I love any movie that has a retarded person working at Starbucks.

George Eliot

And certainly, the mistakes that we male and female mortals make when we have our own way might fairly raise some wonder that we are so fond of it.

Flannery O'Connor

The old woman was the kind who would not cut down a large old tree because it was a large old tree.

He's a hilarious individual with one of the most devastatingly offbeat views of life one could ever encounter.

Franz Kafka

The limited circle is pure.

Guy Ritchie

I still love her. But she's retarded, too.

Bill Vaughan

We hope that, when the insects take over the world, they will remember with gratitude how we took them along on all our picnics.

Jay London

I went out with a promiscuous impressionist. She did everybody.

Christina Aguilera

I wouldn't feel right wearing clothes covering my body.