Bob Monkhouse
Bob Monkhouse
Robert Alan "Bob" Monkhouse, OBE was an English entertainer...
NationalityEnglish
ProfessionComedian
Date of Birth1 June 1928
growing-up compulsory optional
Growing old is compulsory - growing up is optional.
dad sleep passengers
I'd like to die like my old dad, peacefully in his sleep, not screaming like his passengers.
people sunglasses questions-and-answers
If blind people wear sunglasses, why don't deaf people wear earmuffs?
funny-marriage pay investment
Marriage is an investment which pays dividends if you pay interest.
mom mother baby
My mother tried to kill me when I was a baby. She denied it. She said she thought the plastic bag would keep me fresh.
funny-life bad-day intelligent
Personally, I don't think there's intelligent life on other planets. Why should other planets be any different from this one?
funny sex humor
I can remember when safe sex meant a padded headboard.
horse funny-relationship wife
I got a horse for my wife. I thought it was a fair swap.
silence golden silence-is
Silence is not only golden, it is seldom misquoted.
funny humor wife
My wife was fitted with a coil. For about 18 months I hated it! She used to pick up CB signals.
wife funny-marriage use
I'm not saying my wife's a bad cook, but she uses a smoke alarm as a timer.
funny-retirement age retiring
What do gardeners do when they retire?
funny humor homeless
Where do the homeless have 90 per cent of their accidents?
father funny-dad volvo
My father only hit me once, but he used a Volvo.