Famous Quotes & Sayings

Pamela Anderson

Size does matter. There's a lot of ways to make people feel good, but personally I think it does enhance things.

Oscar Wilde

I never travel without my diary. One should always have something sensational to read in the train.

Katharine Hepburn

The average Hollywood film star's ambition is to be admired by an American, courted by an Italian, married to an Englishman and have a French boyfriend.

John Fletcher

It's impossible to ravish me, I'm so willing.

You know you're getting old when you can pinch an inch on your forehead.

John Frusciante

As long as you're excited about what you're playing, and as long as it comes from your heart, it's going to be great.

John Mortimer

I knew nothing about farce until I read Puce a l'Oreille, and had no idea what a deadly serious business it is.

Joel Madden

My mom always said that there would be haters. Not everyone can love ya.

Joan Rivers

Comediennes are the lucky ones, because if you're funny, you can be 125 years old and they will still accept you.

Garry Shandling

After making love I said to my girl, "Was it good for you too?" And she said, "I don't think this was good for anybody."

Malcolm de Chazal

A women knows how to keep quiet when she is in the right, whereas a man, when he is in the right, will keep on talking.

Joe Walsh

The song tells me what to play.

James Thurber

Progress was all right. Only it went on too long.

Elayne Boosler

When the sun comes up, I have morals again.

Helen Rowland

Never trust a husband too far, nor a bachelor too near.

Gilbert K. Chesterton

The only way to be sure of catching a train is to miss the one before it.

Jimmy Carr

It had to be hammered home quite a bit because I didn't see any humour in my life at all.

Jimmy Carr

My mum told me the best time to ask my dad for anything was during sex. Not the best advice I'd ever been given. I burst in through the bedroom door saying "Can I have a new bike?". He was very upset. His secretary was surprisingly nice about it. I got the bike.

Jim Norton

I couldn't get laid with a sitcom and a rifle.

George Lopez

Max: What's a period? George: It's a bullet we dodge, go get ready.

It's a raw, grungy, funny show. If this kind of show can't work here, it can't work anywhere.

It was funny. I gave her the sheet and she said, 'Mrs. Solar, I'm sweating.' She was stunned.

Dave Barry

Another possible source of guidance for teenagers is television, but television's message has always been that the need for truth, wisdom and world peace pales by comparison with the need for a toothpaste that offers whiter teeth *and* fresher breath.

Dave Barry

Never trust anything you read in a travel article.

Charles Dickens

For your popular rumour, unlike the rolling stone of the proverb, is one which gathers a deal of moss in its wanderings up and down.

Charles Dickens

"She's a very charming and delightful creature," quoth Mr. Robert Sawyer, in reply; "and has only one fault that I know of, Ben. It happens, unfortunately, that that single blemish is a want of taste. She don't like me."

Charles Dickens

Dombey and Son had often dealt in hides, but never in hearts. They left that fancy ware to boys and girls, and boarding-schools and books. Mr. Dombey would have reasoned: That a matrimonial alliance with himself must, in the nature of things, be gratifying and honourable to any woman of common sense. That the hope of giving birth to a new partner in such a house, could not fail to awaken a glorious and stirring ambition in the breast of the least ambitious of her sex.

Charles Dickens

... As to sleep, you know, I never sleep now. I might be a Watchman, except that I don't get any pay, and he's got nothing on his mind.

Arnold Bennett

A cause may be inconvenient, but it's magnificent. It's like champagne or high heels, and one must be prepared to suffer for it.

We're in a funny space. Too much good news is not good news because the market worries about the Fed.

We're still pretty funny but we realized that when things are too funny out front, people don't get through to the serious core, ... We wanted to show the other side.

Bob Hope

A bank is a place that will lend you money if you can prove that you don't need it.

Bo Burnham

I get more ass than a giant donkey stable.