Quotes about funny
funny nba bills
I feel like Bill Walton - old and shitty. Shaquille O'Neal
funny witty pads
#3 pencils and quadrille pads. Seymour Cray
funny witty flower
Our national flower is the concrete cloverleaf. Lewis Mumford
funny-marriage married
I was married once before, and I stopped. Marc Maron
funny country jobs
They are not testing comics for drugs. If our job is dependent on that, there would be three working comics in the country, and two of them would have puppets.
funny humor thinking
I don't care what anybody says, I think that George Bush is absolutely the right president to oversea the end of the world.
funny humor thinking
Well, evolution's just a theory.' And, I'm thinking to myself, 'Well, thank goodness gravity's a law.'
funny-inspirational food weight-loss
More die in the United States of too much food than of too little. John Kenneth Galbraith
funny movie war
Gentlemen, you can't fight in here! This is the War Room. Peter Sellers
funny yesterday mcdonalds
People should just be aware of how they are eating... yesterday I had a McDonald's breakfast and pizza too - but that's bad. Peaches Geldof
funny wedding dog
Our dog died from licking our wedding picture. Phyllis Diller
funny hilarious mom
We spend the first twelve months of our children's lives teaching them to walk and talk and the next twelve telling them to sit down and shut up.
funny scratches kind
I work in a "you scratch my back, and I'll stab yours" kind of a place. Kevin Kelly
funny wake-up comedy
How the hell do you wake up dead? Kevin Hart
funny baby men
My baby is weird man... when he get mad, he gets in the oven.
funny missing hell
What? Okay, back up. How in the hell do you 'turn up missing'?
funny kids rapper
I was a hop-around. I hung out with the rockabilly crew, the guys who were trying to be rappers, the funny kids. Katy Perry
funny dumb lilies
I'm like a fatter version of Amy Winehouse and a skinnier version of Lily Allen.
funny fall living-right
You know you're living right when you wake up, brush your hair - and confetti falls out!
funny cities mosquitoes
A fine city with too many socialists and mosquitoes. At least you can spray the mosquitoes. Ralph Klein
funny baseball fathers-day
On this special Fathers Day, we'd like to wish all of you a very Happy Birthday. Ralph Kiner
funny beauty humor
Beauty is an outward gift, which is seldom despised, except by those to whom it has been refused. Ralph Waldo Emerson
funny prayer inspiration
The torpid artist seeks inspiration at any cost, by virtue or by vice, by friend or by fiend, by prayer or by wine.
funny interesting serendipity
You know being relevant or coming up with something interesting, funny to say about what's current is just as hard as it might ever be depending on the serendipity of it all. Lily Tomlin
funny humorous technology
We don't care. We don't have to. We're the phone company.
funny leadership stress
Reality is the leading cause of stress among those in touch with it.
funny sarcastic eyeglasses
If I had known what it would be like to have it all - I might have been willing to settle for less.
funny communication thinking
I personally think we developed language because of our deep need to complain.
funny success congratulations
Sometimes I worry about being a success in a mediocre world.
funny book communication
Man invented language to satisfy his deep need to complain.
funny thinking
I don't think I'm funny. Liam Neeson
funny thinking having-fun
It's funny, but you get to a time in your life when you think you have all the friends you will ever have.
funny mother humorous
I saw six men kicking and punching the mother-in-law. My neighbour said 'Are you going to help?' I said 'No, six should be enough.' Les Dawson