Famous Quotes & Sayings

Laura Harper

It's just funny to me how no one respects us. We were just thinking, 'When are we going to get respect? Just when?' I guess we just have to win the national championship.

Larry Fitzgerald

It's kind of a big flashback. It's funny being on the other side.

It's entertaining and funny and it helps make people -- adults and teen-agers -- more aware.

Drake Bell

They're wholesome, and really actually funny. It's not like you turn it on and it's kids throwing pies in each other's faces. There's actually validity to the work.

It's mental when things are going well. It's funny how things happen. When things aren't going well, you can't kick one in.

Mata Hari

It's not just a matter of going through Heat and chucking in anyone. You have to have a pretty one, a funny one, a thick one and a mad one,

Tre Cool

It's only funny till someone gets hurt........then it's hilarious

Jose Cruz

It started to really tighten up after the first inning, and after that it got really, really funny, ... It was weird, a different type of pain, so I just got out of there as a precaution. But they tested it here, and it was nothing.

There must be millions of people all over the world who never get any love letters . . . I could be their leader.

It's a funny thing. It's confidence. That first one goes down and it kind of goes from there.

Kenny Chesney

It's a funny thing about these kinda towns. They may not be big or flashy, but they're like where I come from: real basic, pretty simple and all heart. The people that live in those places, that come from those kinds of towns, they remind you about everything that's good about folks, so it's great to be able to start our next leg right smack in the middle of it all.

George Bernard Shaw

It's a funny thing about that bust. As time goes on it seems to get younger and younger.

It's a raw, grungy, funny show. If this kind of show can't work here, it can't work anywhere.

It was funny. I gave her the sheet and she said, 'Mrs. Solar, I'm sweating.' She was stunned.

Dick Armey

The American Dream is not to own your own home, but to get your kids out of it.

Dave Chappelle

No one wants to get their ass beat to a soundtrack.

Dave Chappelle

The worst thing to call somebody is crazy. It's dismissive. "I don't understand this person. So they're crazy." That's bullshit. These people are not crazy. They strong people. Maybe their environment is a little sick.

Dave Chappelle

I'm Dave Chappelle and I'm a chronic masturbator.

Dave Chappelle

I think every group of black guys should have at least one white guy in it.

David Cross

I have always tried to use humor to "help ever" and "hurt never," for I find that to laugh is like swallowing a secret that Santa Claus farted.

David Cross

Because you've been on dates where y'know, you forget to open your eyes and wear pants and speak English.

David Cross

All my friends are always telling me how hard it is to have kids. 'Oh, David, it's so hard.' That's not hard. I'll tell you what hard is. Try talking your girlfriend into her third consecutive abortion. Yeah, that's hard, that takes finesse. You're just inconvenienced.

Dave Barry

This (French-Kissing) is a really sexy thing to do, according to the French people, although you should bear in mind that they also like to eat snails.

Dave Barry

Another possible source of guidance for teenagers is television, but television's message has always been that the need for truth, wisdom and world peace pales by comparison with the need for a toothpaste that offers whiter teeth *and* fresher breath.

Dave Barry

Big business never pays a nickel in taxes, according to Ralph Nader, who represents a big consumer organization that never pays a nickel in taxes.

Dave Barry

If you were to open up a baby's head - and I am not for a moment suggesting that you should - you would find nothing but an enormous drool gland.

Dave Barry

She goes to Frederick's of Hollywood at the mall and purchases an explicit lingerie outfit so sheer that you could read an appliance warranty through it in an unlit closet.

Dave Barry

The doctor looked at my cardiogram and made that "hmmmm" noise that doctors are taught in medical school so they won't come right out and say "UH-oh!"

Dave Barry

My wife, like many women, actually LIKES wrapping things. If she gives you a gift that requires batteries, she wraps the batteries separately, which to me is very close to being a symptom of mental illness.

Dave Barry

Dear Hotel People: We don't need a cheeseball clock-radio. WE NEED PLACES TO PLUG STUFF IN. Thank you.

Dave Barry

The story of the eighties will be the story of the Reagan administration and the many men and women who served in it, some of whom are already out on parole.

Dave Barry

Never trust anything you read in a travel article.

Dave Barry

Life is anything that dies when you stomp on it.