Famous Quotes & Sayings

Joe Rogan

That's my only goal. Surround myself with funny people, and make sure everyone has a good time and works hard.

Joe Rogan

Haters...are all failures. It's 100% across the board. No one who is truly brilliant at anything is a hater.

Joe E. Lewis

I distrust camels, and anyone else who can go a week without a drink.

Joe Frazier

Boxing is the only sport you can get your brain shook, your money took and your name in the undertaker book.

Joan Didion

In the early years, you fight because you don't understand each other. In the later years, you fight because you do.

Joan Jett

The follow your dreams thing is really important because so many people are railroaded into taking other paths by their family, their friends, people who should be supportive going, 'What are you talking about?' Even just seemingly regular career paths, but if it's not what people expect for you they kind of react funny.

Jimmy Cannon

I judge how much a man cares for a woman by the space he allots her under a jointly shared umbrella.

Jim Morrison

Actually I don't remember being born, it must have happened during one of my black outs.

John McLaughlin

When I hear a great musician, I can feel his life inside the music.

You know you're getting old when you can pinch an inch on your forehead.

If you're cross-eyed and have dyslexia, can you see okay?

John Frusciante

As long as you're excited about what you're playing, and as long as it comes from your heart, it's going to be great.

John Donne

I observe the physician with the same diligence as the disease.

John Oliver

British people would die for their right to drink themselves to death

John Oliver

Campaign ads are the backbone of American democracy if American democracy suffered a gigantic spinal injury.

John Mortimer

I knew nothing about farce until I read Puce a l'Oreille, and had no idea what a deadly serious business it is.

John Berryman

Offering Dragons quarter is no good, they regrow all their parts and come on again. They have to be killed.

John B. S. Haldane

There is no great invention, from fire to flying, which has not been hailed as an insult to some god.

Joel Hodgson

Sometimes I go into my own little world. It's okay, they know me there.

Joel Madden

My mom always said that there would be haters. Not everyone can love ya.

Joel Klein

My knowledge of the universe is that if I write stupid jokes, the universe gives me a really nice house and great meals. I do not believe mankind will ever develop a formula to explain this.

Joan Rivers

The people voting for the Oscars are so old. I haven't seen one Academy Award voter with a tampon in her purse.

Joan Rivers

I said to my husband, 'Why don't you call out my name when we're making love?' He said, 'I don't want to wake you up.'

Joan Rivers

She doesn't understand the concept of Roman numerals. She thought we just fought in world war eleven.

Joan Rivers

Never floss with a stranger.

Joan Rivers

A man can sleep around, no questions asked, but if a woman makes nineteen or twenty mistakes she's a tramp.

Joan Rivers

My routines come out of total unhappiness. My audiences are my group therapy.

Joan Rivers

I told my mother-in-law that my house was her house, and she said, 'Get the hell off my property.'

Joan Rivers

If God wanted us to bend over he'd put diamonds on the floor.

Joan Rivers

I hate housework! You make the beds, you do the dishes and six months later you have to start all over again.

Joan Rivers

I knew I was an unwanted baby when I saw that my bath toys were a toaster and a radio.

Joan Rivers

Comediennes are the lucky ones, because if you're funny, you can be 125 years old and they will still accept you.

Garry Shandling

I don't talk about my hair anymore because I've matured. I matured and realized it doesn't matter what you look like. It's what kind of hair you have inside that counts.